UFC 110: Lightning Jack

Paul Hogan strode to the podium, cracked open a Foster's, grinned at the camera and said "Who's dead now mate." Winked and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Te Huna vs. Pokrajac

I don't pretend to know. Momentum seems to be behind Te Huna. I take him by 1st round TKO.

Dolloway vs. Reljic

Dolloway is the physical manifestation of Public Enemy's declaration, "Don't Believe the Hype!" The dude might tap to the game of Twister. Reljic is also an outstanding athlete but he has been sidelined by injuries and disinterest. Reljic has been the better fighter in the past but I am wary of fights back from back injuries so I will say Dolloway by decision. I don't know though.

Lytle vs. Foster

Foster...in Australia?? Great. It is no secret that I can't root against Chris Lytle. Can I pull for him? Hmm.. Chris Lytle is a very skilled striker and grappler, but he has traded in this skill for big fight of the night payouts. For those who don't know, fight of the night in the UFC means best appoximation of a toughman contest. Lytle obliges. And why not? He gets the money for it. If he fights in that fashion in Australia he is going to get smacked around by Foster who has power and wrestling. If Lytle decides to get his black-belt and pro-boxing experience out of storage he can win this decision. If not? Chunder!

Bonnar vs. Soszynski

Bonnar was a fighter that I thought had a lot of upside. He was a gold-glove boxer with a Gracie black-belt. He is obviously technically proficient. Where has that gone? His trainer, Carlson Gracie, dying might be to blame. A naturally low ceiling might be a bigger factor. He might have been an average fighter from the get go. That isn't shameful, it just means he isn't going anywhere. Soszynski isn't a bag full of talent either but he is a good fighter, and a smart fighter who knows his strengths. He is a more physical fighter and I think it will show in this fight as he beats on Bonnar for a TKO in the 3rd.

Filipovic vs. Perosh

Filipovic's opponent, Ben Rothwell, had to bow out of the competition this week. In steps Persoh. Down goes Perosh. The downfall of Cro-Cop has been sad to watch but this fight won't be. As weird as Filipovic's performances have been recently, something strange could happen, but I see a return to highlight real dominance for Filipovic with a KO in the 1st.

Jardine vs. Bader

I think there are truths to both sides on Jardine's striking; It is effective, sometimes, in its awkwardness. It is also technically unsound. Jardine is a hard opponent, but I see Bader tooling him for some reason. Bader has an explosive double leg and the wrestler's solid 1-2. I think he lands the straight right on Jardine and also takes him down for damage. Bader by TKO in the 2nd.

Stevenson vs. Sotiropoulos

Who ccan't like Joe Stevenson. He is very likable. A good fighter, who goes hard, but he couldn't cut it against the top guys. Greg Jackson in his corner is a help. Sotiropoulos is part of the Purebred family so it is also hard for me to come out against him. I was very impressd by Sotiropoulos's dedication to training during his time on TUF. While other people were exchanging body fluids, he was running sprints in the back yard. Both fighters are superb grapplers, so this should be a good fight that should go to a decision. I am being provocative and calling it for Sotiropoulos. 大和多魂。　

Silva vs. Bisping

I have said it a bunch, I just don't buy into Bisping as a top level fighter. I think Silva lays it on him. I think Silva devastates him. Hooks and knees from the clinch. Silva KO in the 1st.

Nogueira vs. Velasquez

I am going to be honest, this could go either way. I think the real key is going to be whether Velasquez can base out on Nogueira's sweep attempts and maintain his balance. If so, I think he can ride it out to a decision. If not then I think Nogueira can maintain top position. Nogueira deserves every bit of his legacy and is still a relevant fighter. I would love to see him win. Velasquez is a great up and comer. He has amazing skills and dedication. It would be great to see him win. A toss up. Velasquez's take-down, stamina and balance, earn him a decision.

There it is Linda Kozlowski. Fax it to Arash with a cc to Amy Chavez. Put in your milk money.

Ms. Chavez, Back At It

I think we should start treating Amy Chavez like that elephant who they have trained to paint pictures. The only real difference is that the elephant has some degree of natural talent. Maybe we should regard what happens in her head as what happens when monkeys throw shit around the zoo. The only problem with that is that monkeys are entertaining and the shit has a random chance of forming some kind of pattern or making sense. If Ms. Chavez were to be a competent writer I would have issues with her over her ignorance and her willingness to view Japan as a pre-constructed stereotype rather than experience it herself. Unfortunately Ms. Chavez is decidedly untalented and yet is paid by the Japan Times to conduct a monkey shit fight with herself on the pages of their newspaper. I don't know Amy, what would it be like if Hello Kitty went shopping? What is it like when you buy jeans? Great story pitch.

Tojinbo. Fukui. Japan

Eiheiji. Fukui. Japan

Eiheiji. Fukui-ken. February 2010

Christian Founders?

I came across this NY Times article this weekend and apparently it has been getting a good deal of attention since. That, I am sure, has no relation to me looking at it however.

I had read before about how Texas controls what goes in most American textbooks. That is unfortunate. This article seemed especially timely coming on the heels of Howard Zinn's recent departure for the big protest in the sky.

As it is a broad, big article, I have many thoughts on the content within. At this moment I would just like to pose two of them.


1. Even if the entire reason for the founding of America was the creation of a Christian nation (and lets not kid ourselves, the only reason "Judeo" is tacked on there is because the conservatives understand who they can afford as enemies.) is that, rationally, the best course for a modern, stable democracy? If you want to test that just substitute any religion for Christianity and I think you get the answer. No one wants to live under a government designed to enforce a religion they are not a participant in. Well, there might be someone somewhere, but it would seem more like a fetish than a brave stance.

2. If we accept that all of the founders believed themselves to be Christian, do their actions hold them up as Christians? For example, say I am going to found my own country in my basement. My country's motto will be "For the upliftment of Christ." Our constitution will forbid all non-Christians and our laws will be the Ten Commandments. Another thing we will do in my country is murder children. I don't mean that in an abstract way. Some of the citizens might just be rapists, but a lot of them will also murder children. They will murder old people too. Sometimes they will wantonly kill adults as well, but the children thing seems the most notable. Could anyone pretend that that was a Christian nation? Even if it called itself "Make No Mistake We Are Chritian-sylvania"?

I would think the answer to number two is clearly no. And it seems ridiculous but is it any different from what the people in this article are saying? The U.S. is a Christian nation but had legal slavery participated in by its most notable aristocrats for hundreds of years. Slavery, of course involves rape and murder, I don't think I am being controversial in saying that. Of course you could point out that slavery wasn't that frowned upon in many nations in history that considered themselves Christian. Sure, but could anyone make a real go of it with that argument about America now? So, to me, any argument that the U.S. was founded as a Christian nation is a silly rhetorical trick that cares little about actual history or political/theological/philosophical thought. A Christian nation in the midst of a genocide be it of Africans or Natives is a mockery of both religion and government. If that is truly the argument they are going with, then the textbooks should ask the question; Why were the founders such absolute, pathetic failures?

Language is Retarded

Or should I say that it can be retarded when we attempt to police it too vigorously. On the whole, I agree with this article in the Washingon Post. I understand that the word is hurtful to some people and that some other people intend it to be hurtful towards people who don't deserve it. The main point to me is that, no matter what we change the correct, defensible term to, it will be offensive to people in 50 or so years. I am not trying to advocate a cavalier attitude, declaring that any concern for other's feelings is "PC" and that we should all just say whatever comes into our heads. One should recognize their audience and sensitivities and think about what they say and the effect that it can have. That being said, I don't think I have associated the word "retarded" with mental illness since grade school. By the same token I haven't associated "gay" with being happy in......ever. Gay clearly means two guys who are retarded for each other. Of course guys can also be retarded for girls and vice-versa. Opposing same-sex relationships on the other hand is severely retarded. I might even call it mongoloid if that was in the vernacular. But it is not as mongoloid as any another outdated retarded medical term used to discuss morons. I was discussing this queer terminology with my octoroon buddy the other day. I should point out that he has some stake in this whole name game as he is half. I mean, they are double. Which is it? The whole concept is dumb. But motherfuckers get riled up about it. They get on the war path. You know, like Indians. I guess the imagery I am going for is like...you know....India fighting over Kashmir. On the war path as it were. Not that I want war. We will achieve peace. Lord willing and the Creek don't rise and all. As long as our allies don't Welsh on their obligations or Jew us around like Indian givers. Wait. That sounds offensive. This resurgence of saying things like "I've been Jewed" really needs to quit. How would our JAP friends feel about it. It is too much for me to sort out. At least its only a few weeks until spring training so I can start rooting for the Braves again, and looking forward to who the Redskins will draft. Fo'shizzle my nizzle. Try not to be niggardly with your comments. Oh my gosh. I can't believe I typed the word "niggardly." I hope no one is offended. Being offended is so gay. What a gyp.

Ms. Chavez I Presume?

My name is Amy Chavez and I am a professional writer. People pay me to write things. I type them and this what happens. I am really happy with my profession and to be able to share it with the world. On another note, I am mentally handicapped. Good thing they gave me a masters degree. Was it before or after I flowered for Algernon? Who knows?

Grammar Warriors Mount Up

New grammar problem. A work sheet today read "My most favorite sport is ________" I immediately said "You can't say that because both are superlatives. You can't be the most tallest." The teacher answered, "Really, but that's what it says in the book." Gong, like Chuck Barris for not the first, nor the last time. I went back to the lab to huddle and research only to find that not every expert considers the word favorite to be a superlative. Some do. I would. But then again, I have no problem with saying "It is my least favorite." Is that because favorite is a positive so you can rank its negatives? I would stay away from saying "most favorite." You don't call John "The most dead Kennedy." We don't call Sartre "The most French." If we did either of these things, we would be making a joke. Thoughts?

And the Oscar Goes To...

Not believing that Oscars and good movies go hand in hand I have spent the rainy week watching best picture nominees anyway.

The Hurt Locker was quite a good movie but I have the feeling I would have thought more of it if I had come to it naturally instead of it being a nominee. I don't want to critique it from a hard line realist stance, but I do think a movie about the military needs to adhere to things that are factual, especially when discussing an ongoing conflict. I don't say that in any kind of "they need to do right by our boys" fashion, but that it detracts from what is going on when, say, the submarine has both a pet dog, an aquarium and a stereo on it. In the case of The Hurt Locker, while I found the seen in the professors house very good and necessary, I didn't find they way that the character ended up there plausible. I don't think U.S. GIs do very well off base in Baghdad. That being said, this was my only problem with the film. I thought that the last 10 minutes was exceptional and speaks to lots of things that I find to be true in life. Jeremy Renner picking out cereal in the supermarket seems especially tragic to some notion inside of me. I guess it can be a great and terrible thing about military life that it can make you stand out for being really, really good at something, even if that something doesn't negotiate well with the word at large.

Precious was very good were it good just have easily been bad and preachy and maudlin. It wasn't any of those things. It played somewhat like an after-school special. But like the dirtiest, most heartbreakingly honest and real after-school special ever produced. I thought Mo'nique, who I only knew from her spot on the dais at Emmitt Smith's roast, was exceptional. She was terrifying and pathetic. Al of the supporting performances were very good and captured something real about the situation. The story played really straight for being about something so awful. As a teacher you see parents like this out there and I will never understand them. Also, Mariah Carey was sterling in her role. I didn't even realize it was her for a bit, even though I knew she was in the movie and in what role and was told "I didn't realize it was her." Make no mistake, it is a very good movie.

Up In the Air is a solid movie with good acting and cinematography. It is about something in the same way the other two movies on here are, but it is something that, on its surface, seems more self-centered, and piddling and white. I think it runs a little deeper than that though. Also, on a shallower note, for people who have spent a lot of time flying it is a solid commiseration. We all have our methods and strategies I suppose. I also enjoyed the aerial scenes of the cities.

All of these movies, as I suppose most good movies do, seemed to have an interesting confluence with my present life and its predicaments. I identified a little with Clooney having to hand in his Superman "S" and what that means about who he is. Here is where I am going to make an outrageous claim; Of these three movies, Precious was the easiest to make. I don't mean logistically, although it might have been. I mean that the subject matter was so shocking and strong that it drives the movie forwards no matter what. I don't think you have to work as hard to make strategy and heartbreak impact people. I think that what The Hurt Locker and Up In The Air do subtly is a harder trick than showing how horrible rape and incest are. Then again, the tricky part of Precious is how to not make it too preachy or heavy handed. This brings me to another, and in my case, inevitable point; Where is The Hangover? I know, that is absurd, right? But why? Why is it absurd. I argued that Michael Caine should have had an Oscar for Austin Powers. I think that Tropic Thunder was probably the best move last year. I really, truly believe that making a solid comedy is far more difficult than making a drama, because, when making a drama, you are assuming a tone that demands that people take you seriously. With comedy you are making a product to be judged on its raw merits. That is a hard bar to pass. It isn't easy to come up with something funny. I don't know that The Hangover was the best picture last year, but I think it deserves consideration.

Epistemologapologology

I saw a bit of the very odd exchange between Ron Reagan and Atlas Shrugged over the weekend and just kind of shook my head. Fortunately the good folks at Lawyers, Guns and Money took it on a bit. Really, honestly, what was she talking about? Do you think she just said "epistemological" because it sounded like something smart that would make someone back off? That seems the most likely. Or do you think she was really trying to engage in a discussion about whether someone is able to know someone and their thoughts on a truer level by reading what they wrote rather than being one of their offspring and having a life-long relationship with them. Actually, thinking about it, I don't think she meant anything. She could have substituted any other smart sounding word, because she couldn't honestly mean what she implied. She wasn't actually even inviting the discussion...was she?

I am Better at English Than He!

Grammar warriors, help me out.

Would you teach junior high schoolers that they should be saying:

"He is taller than I." OR
"He is taller than me."

Now, I know the grammatical arguments. I know the controversy over whether "than" is a conjunction or a preposition. However, I take a more organic view to these things. Do you think it would better serve a teenager to say "I" or "me"?

I am going with "me" on this one but some other teachers disagree with me. If a junior high student would be encountering actual conversations from the vernacular, I think it would serve them better. Of course, I am teaching in Japan so all they are encountering are stilted text readings created by committees of non-native speakers. I think teachers feel more comfortable explaining the rules for "I."

I would consider teaching it this way:

"I am tall."
"He is tall."
"He is taller than I am."

This would require materials for the board to illustrate, but it would be easy to teach I think as they would already grasp "I am..." Then again:

"I am tall."
"He is tall."
"He is taller than me."

Might be a good way to teach about the object of the sentence. The counter argument being that you cant say, "He is taller than me am."

But, let's think about a 12 year old complaining:

"I'm so short. When will I grow. This sucks. Everybody is taller than I!"

Doesn't really work, does it?

Help me out.

Update:

Reading back through my Strunk and White I find the cautrionary "In general, aviod 'understood' verbs by supplying them." As usual, I defer to the masters and find them correct.

For example:

"He eats pizza more than I."
"He eats pizza more than I do."

"She lloves him more than me."
"She love him more than I do."

Better English that way, I think.

The (Completely Timely) Fall of Air America

I said I was going to write about this weeks ago, but I never seem to have the time. Or, to the larger point, I stopped caring about Air America a long time ago. If we hopped in a time machine and went back a few years that would seem completely unforeseeable.

Let's go back further. Ten years maybe? I can remember the little corner of northwest Alabama where I could pick up Jim Hightower's radio show when driving to Memphis. It seemed like an amazing pocket in the substance of the universe that let one view a world where liberals were allowed to speak. There was also a mildly left-wing program when I would drive up the interstate through Chattanooga. I remembered where I could get the stations. I probably got a total of an hour of left wing programming in a year. And I am a radio junkie. Funny, that was the title of my radio show which I didn't name. So, when rumors of Air America's founding became a reality, I was sprinting like Ben Johnson towards whatever outlet would give me some of that. That outlet, it turns out, was very simple. Anyone could listen to Air America, for free, on the internet. It was like goddamn Halloween for Christmas every day of the year. Realize that the morning line-up was in my evening and, as Ed can testify, I spent most evenings with Air America's morning line-up.

In the beginning, that line-up was truly bad-ass. You had Unfiltered with Lizz Winstead, Chuck D and some unknown Rhodes Scholar Phd, Rachel Maddow. Leading in to that was Morning Sedition with Mark Maron and Mark Riley, which was a really very good honest show which mixed Riley's old radio professionalism and Marc Maron's instinctive, life coming unhinged commentary. It also had one of my favorite titles of all time. There was also the Al Franken Show, which, although a little more down the middle than the others, contained a lot of good policy information. Looking back, the show that stands out to me most, however, is The Majority Report. Even at its worst- It's worst probably being Jeneane Garafolo's foray into the public service wing of Scientology and Sam Seder's subsequent flip-out, was great radio. I was never too into Randi Rhodes, but she was alright. Thom Hartman amazed me but I didn't listen to him as much.

Sadly, what happened to Air America, is what happens to lots of good things. They weren't doing so great financially and they decided to listen to people who told them that in order to fix this they had to do what everyone else in radio did. Of course, that is, in the end, terrible advice, because Air America's entire selling point was being something different. I lost interest gradually due to three separate factors.

1. They started implementing a pay-to-listen system. I can't remember how or when now but it discouraged me. I think you could still download podcasts, but it got more complicated.

2. They started getting rid of personalities. I hear that they started making cuts for budgetary reasons, but who they cut is telling. They tossed out everyone whose voice was unique to Air America. They jerked around Sam Seder and Marc Maron and replaced them with Lionel and Jerry Springer. I think this is what most people would tell you made them unhappy with the station. Anything that was new or interesting or with any kind of unique appeal was thrown out the door for things that were considered safe. I could extrapolate this to a problem with the left-wing in America in general. I understand that Lionel was their highest rated host, but is that really what you are in it for? It isn't something I wanted to participate in. It is kind of like electing Barak Obama only to have Rahm Emanuel be Chief of Staff. Wait, that happened. Radio is like the NFL everyone wants to copy success because trying something new has stiff penalties and being mediocre is safer than trying and failing.

3. During Air America's downturn, other outlets began popping up. The Young Turks internet radio program was more accessible and far more DIY. Rachel Maddow became a household name and Al Franken became a senator. This final reason for my lack of interest in Air America would seem to also be praise for Air America. If they hadn't been around, I don't think Maddow and Franken would be where they are now.

Of course the bankruptcy will be heralded by those on the Right as a failure of liberalism. They will fail to mention that Fox News lost $90 million in its first five years of operation. They will forget that Fox News's parent company lost $30 billion in market value in 2008. Most conservative media outlets run at severe losses but are funded by super wealthy patrons who don't care. Nothing like that exists on the Left and it probably shouldn't. To me the failure of Air America has very little to do with Left vs. Right and everything to do with the mediocrity of playing it safe. If you have ever worked in radio, you know that the pressure to do what everyone else is doing is overwhelming. In my 2 years in radio I pushed for internet broadcasting every day. I was told repeatedly that that was absurd and could never work. Good thing we never tried. Well, Air America, for a brief few years tried until things got rough. And when the going gets rough, the squares play it straight. Count on it.

UFC 109: A Simple Gesture

UFC Commissioner Dana White stumbled to the stage with a torn copy of A People's History of the United States in one hand, an empty bottle of rum in the other, and a J.D. Salinger autographed T-Shirt. "Fuck it," he said, gathering his strength, "Everybody is dead anyway." He then smeared himself with black-face and began his long rumored, spot-on, Wyclef Jean impersonation:


Gracie vs. Beltran
With one week of training, Beltran is being sent in to lose. Gracie by 1st round sub.

Hague vs. Tuchscherer
I don't really care. Hague is an elementary school teacher I believe? I don't know. Tuscherer by G-n-P TKO 2nd.

Davis vs. Stann
I am not going to lie and say that I have seen a lot of these guys, but I always hear their names. Davis by lots of take-downs to decision.

Nover vs. Emerson
This one is hard for me. I really liked what I saw of Nover on TUF. I thought he had a lot of promise and I bought the hype. He hasn't arrived yet though. Emerson is a fighter I can never support. If you don't know, as a young man he was involved in a gang of rich, white kids who went around with guns robbing and beating people. He ended up missing out on jail time. Maybe he has moved beyond that, but he is not someone I can support. Emerson has, on the other hand, been able to get the most out of his limited talent. He has some bread and butter striking complemented by an increasingly capable take-down defense. If Nover has been able to improve his training, he his the higher ceiling, the better ground game and the more diverse striking package. This fight will show us where he is. If you are going to play it safe, call it for Emerson. I like Nover by split decision.

Torres vs. Guillard
Guillard showed up on the scene with all of the (striking) talent in the world. What he has showed us in the years since is one of the lowest fight IQs in the game. Guillard has rare, rare power, and can always win. That being said, he know how to lose. If this fight goes to the ground, and it will, Guillard will lose. Torres represent Nova Uniao. That counts for something. Torres by sub in the 1st.

Danzig vs. Bucholz
Danzig is absolutely my kind of fighter. He is good all-around. He has tight, competent boxing. He makes few mistakes on the floor. He is a driven, talented fighter. Danzig's problem is that he just doesn't have the body and athleticism to fight at the highest levels at 155. I have always called Bucholz to lose, and he seems to win somehow. I don't see him winning here though. He isn't a good enough wrestler to make anything happen. Danzig wins a hard, but unanimous decision.

Serra vs. Trigg
Who the F knows man. Both of these guys are a roll of the twelve-sided die. Trigg is notorious for being RNCed, so I called that Mayhem Miller, who excels at RNCs, would beat him. Trigg proceeded to beat Mayhem up.Serra, the jiu-jitsu black-belt, is best known for beating the tar out of GSP. I like Serra better, does that count for anything? I think Serra has more power. Trigg has better wrestling, but Serra isn't that worried about getting taken down, however, he doesn't submit much from the bottom. I say Serra by split-decision.

Maia vs. Miller
Ouch. They are puttin' the hurt on me. Two of my favorite fighters in a similar style match-up. I am a big supporter of Miller's career. He has a real, pulling, yanking, strength submission game to go with a wrestling base. Maia hovers above this world on the BJJ mother ship laughing at the rest of us vain attempts at the graceful art. I see this as the kind of match-up I see in the gym a lot wherein the Shooto guy has a very good, strong, basic submission game that they can lay on quick and strong. Maia would be playing the part of the sub wizard in the gi studying Youtube on the weekends and flipping through all the obscure books. What makes Maia different is that he has some rare athleticism to back it up. I want to pull for Miller, and his savvy could make this a little interesting, but Maia still gets the sub in the 1st.

Swick vs. Thiago
No one can say that Thiago has gotten the easy road here in the UFC. Apparently he has to fight the entire American Kickboxing Academy roster to get anywhere. This is a hard fight and I would rather see Thiago get more of a chance to develop. The odd thing about Swick is that he uses his monster reach more to get under-hooks than to jab. He has some good tight hooks and some sneaky power. Thiago has real power too, and a ground game. Swick probably takes this by having more experience, but I say Thiago by KO in the 2nd.

Marquardt vs. Sonnen

I often talk about "my kind of fighter." Sonnen is not that. He is an asshole Republican real estate agent who wrestles people until they get bored with their own careers and retire to the decision. He is kind of ridiculous and notorious for getting subbed, screaming and crying and then saying he was never subbed. Marquardt has the complete game. Just complete enough to never beat Anderson Silva. Sonnen can out wrestle him, but Marquardt will take advantage at every other opportunity. I call Marquardt by screaming sub in the 2nd.

Couture vs. Coleman
Two pioneers. One successful and respected. One bitter and pitied. Coleman once dominated the sport to such a degree that they had to change the rules. Of course that rule was no headbutting. If that is your only skill and you never progress then....then.....you become Mark Coleman, who I feel bad for, but who had every opportunity to get better and didn't. Couture, on the other hand, was a wrestler who got arm-barred by Enson Inoue (who owns my gym) and progressed to someone who could fight to a draw with Jacare in a grappling match. Couture also has very good boxing. I will give Coleman the power edge, but he doesn't use it so effectively. Coleman also has better single and double-leg take-downs, but does that really matter against Couture who lives for the clinch? Two old men come out smelling like Old-Spice and Icy Hot and gum each other......or....or Couture by TKO in the 3rd.

There it is kids. Donate it to Haiti. Apparently I have been taking this space to taunt Arash Markazi, not knowing that he was battling and beating back cancer. Beating Cancer, Arash, well above average. Your MMA writing, somewhat below.

Politicus

Yesterday, coming home form work, I finally got to hear Conan O'Brien's farewell speech. I had read it beforehand, but hadn't realized the emotional impact it had. How it communicated dignity and integrity. I have loved Conan since I stayed up late to watch his debut. Listening to his good-bye, I felt this weird pang of what I felt during the Obama campaign. Does that make sense? Not that Conan is a political force or the face of a movement. Certainly I never felt that Obama was either. But that it was someone who understood the goodness in the hearts of most of the people of my generation and the generations that surround it. The way people rallied around Conan, and candidate Obama, seemed more like us rallying around ourselves, and I liked that. Friday I started to long for it again on the political front. And then today, President Obama went out and did me a solid. In a month where I have been waiting for him to cut loose Geithner and Summers and Bernanke, and recapture the spirit of populism that Republicans are attempting to fake, he had sadly disappointed to me. But. But. He did turn up at the Republican Retreat in B'More and turned it from a mere retreat into a full-scale clusterfuck. President Obama walked into a room full of hundreds of people who have made their bones painting him as a Manchurian candidate. He responded by making them look like a gym of petty junior high students. How will teleprompter quips fly now? How will they fly when Mr. Obama broke down their questions by presenting their arguments better than they could and then describing why they wouldn't work. I especially enjoyed how he pointed out that saying that you "have ideas" isn't the same the same as having actual working ideas. Of course, the President was much calmer in the situation then I would have been, but to his credit his approach probably played better. I would have had trouble biting my tongue as the gentle lady from Tennessee repeatedly referred to the "Democrat Party." Really grown up that. And then went on to make little sense about why she didn't like health care. It really appeared as if the Republican argument was "Why don't you get behind Republican policies 100%? It is only natural. We could support that." They looked like the lost party that, deep down, under the costume parties and parade float politics, they really are.

Stikeforce: Vice City

I sat down to write this and realized I didn't care so much. There are fights that I like, but since Strikeforce focuses so little on development there are few interesting plot lines or up and coming fighters. That being said, one of my top-five favorite fighters of all time, Nick Diaz, is on the card.

I will be brief.

Walker vs. Nagy

Nagy is there to lose. This has little relevance to the sport, however, I like Herschel Walker and he has always strived to do interesting things as a person. Walker wins early by 1,000 push-ups and sit-ups and then drinking a milkshake.

Lashley vs. Sims

A guy who has always sucked gets a week to train for a guy who might or might not suck. If Lashley is going to really do MMA, he has to quit pro-wrestling. The toll it is taking on his body must be immense. Even so he hurts Sims and wins by poundage in the 1st.

Hieron vs. Riggs

One of the few real fights on the card isn't being televised. Riggs has always been a talented guy. Hieron is a little more talented. His boxing isn't as powerful, but more technical. Also, he is not encumbered by an awful tattoo. Hieron by decision.

Lawler vs. Manhoef

If Lawler was a smart fighter he would just wrestle, which he is good at and put Manhoef on the ground, which he is bad it. Asking Lawler to be smart is like asking a non-volcanic rock to float. Manhoef by KO in the 2nd. Unless Lawler wrestles.

Santos vs. Coenen

I haven't seen enough of Coenen, but she is fairly ok. No, she is pretty good. Santos is just a plague of violence. A physical force. I think she hurts Coenen in the 1st for a TKO.

Diaz vs. Zaromskis

I was able to see Zaromskis fight live this year in Osaka. He was impressive, winning with his signature head kick, but his opponent obliged him by standing in front of him. Nick Diaz also has a habit of standing in the pocket instead of circling. I don't think he does this out of a lack of understanding though, indeed, I would assert that Diaz is one of the smartest fighters going. I am not sure how well Zaromskis fights of a real jab. With Diaz it will be tons of jabs after jabs after jabs. If the fight hits the ground it is over quickly. Diaz is one of the best in the world on the floor. I see him trying his judo hip-throw at least twice in the fight. How well can Zaromskis defend. This is a five round fight, which gives Zaromskis more time to score with the kick, but I think Diaz's strikes just add up and wear on Zaromskis for a 4th round submission.

Something Good

I haven't been posting in a while, not because I have nothing to say but because I still have to hold off on talking about the main thing that has been going on.

Amidst that...this!!

Landon Donovan scored a goal for Everton. Landon's continuing success and reception at Everton caused a happiness in me that is hard to fathom. Soccer is a rare thing where Americans are underdogs and the athletes who play it have to suffer through disrespect and anonymity. The Brits would like nothing more than for Donovan to fail, as it would hold up their world view. Now Everton fans don't feel that way. Good.

Martin Luther King Day

I am a little preoccupied, but this ties in with both. Here is what I think is, possibly, the best speech I have heard given. Especially under the circumstance. Remember that Robert F. Kennedy wasn't supposed to speak on the subject and had to break the news of the assassination to the audience. That, and he says the line "My favorite poet, Aeschylus..." That is when you know you are a rhetorical bad-ass.

Thank You

These are two Haitians digging on the Hotel Montana. Thank you guys, whoever you are. You are real human beings who will never get a $400 million contract.

Personal Hygiene Kits: For Haiti

Here is something easy you can do that actually feels like doing something. Get your students or kids or friends together and knock out a few of these badboys. Convoy of Hope is a Christian group (so) (but) (and)(?) they have a very good reputation for getting things done.

Jozy Altidore

Jozy Altidore hasn't been winning on the pitch much recently, but he is winning at the game of life. Right now players who hope to make their World Cup squads are jockeying for playing time so they show up on national team radar. Altidore, who recently moved to the English Premier League has left the team to help Haiti, where his parents are from. I will support his career for as long as he continues to play. Well done Jozy.

Hispanola is Good for Something

Apparently it was worth Rush Limbaugh's time to fly down to the Dominican Republic with his homeboys from 24 in order to score some action, if you will remember. Where is that plane now, one wonders? Where is that sense of adventure and Viagra fueled manhood. Can that plane not also carry medicine as it carries boner pills? Is Rush afraid that he will lose some of his yearly $40,000,000 is he cuts out of work for a few days. Seems like radio communication could be useful. Maybe he could just put in a few days of hard work. I know most of us would if we had a plane. Or enough to afford a plane ticket. Are you picking up on the idea that I think Rush Limbaugh is a worthless piece of shit? Am I giving of that vibe? Is it maybe because he said that the U.S. military, which does logistics very, very well, had been turned into Meals on Wheels? Is it maybe because that fat-ass got off military duty with an anal cyst? Is ti because he has finally proved that aside from no intellect and no shame that he has no balls? Yes. All of that.

Negro?

I have been enjoying Bloggingheads.tv lately. Here is a conversation I especially liked.

fuck

I had been not saying anything about Haiti as it is another disaster that I can't do anything about and that is personally frustrating but not nearly as important as how people are actually effected. Now, as it turns out, I am personally effected, as my friend, our friend for most of the people reading this, Diane is missing. I guess all of us that are stuck around the world can do is hope but that is a rather impotent feeling. Here is a link to a Facebook group with updates on the Hotel Montana, where she was staying.

Donovan

Landon Donovan started for Everton this weekend and I got drunk to honor his assist. Well done Landon. Nothing makes me happier than British soccer and its fans having to make allowances for the Yank.

Just to Set Things Str8

Trent Lott = I wished we had elected a regime in favor of apartheid, instead of a Democratic government. Integration was a problem we could have done without.

Harry Reid= Barack Obama talks like a white guy, who would have thought?

Reid= Dumb predictable old white man, who, it should be noted, was backing that cracker talking colored fella' for President.

Lott= In favor of apartheid.

Figure out which one you are more comfortable with.

100% Genius

Human Rights in Japan: Top Ten

Here were Debito Arudou's Top Ten human rights stories from 2009 in Japan. A good summing up of the year gone by.

Some commentary on each by me.

10. I think this is one of the hardest to explain to people who don't get it. It is the easiest to say "Lighten up" about. It is also one of the most personally vexing and tiresome. It effects my life directly more than any of the others on this list. In fact, I just got done having a conversation with a teacher which began, "Foreigners eat a lot of meat huh? Like in a big pile on a fire. Right?" My response was, as usual, "I don't. I think that is just an image someone has. Somebody might eat like that. I don't know."
The Mr. James debacle singles out so many undercurrents in Japanese society. One of the main, and most obvious, is the inability, or unwillingness to separate people who weren't born in Japan but live in Japan and tourists. There is no difference between the two in most people's minds. I live in a special sub-world of this as I reside in Kyoto, destination for both domestic and international travelers. Showing Mr.James as a buffoon who stumbles his way through Japan, frequenting McDonald's just held up to the Japanese public that we are all jokes and any way we function in Japan is just a representation of our personal strangeness. It makes it difficult to be a teacher. This is the image of us day after day on TV when in school I had to explain to a class what Setsubun was and why Japan has such an abundance of last names. I should also add for the record, that McDonald's is a completely Japanese experience for me. I never got to McDonald's in America and seldom did growing up.

9. Wakayama and anyone that supports what they do can go fuck themselves. When you have to make up a cultural identity to match your indefensible actions it is time to give up. No, not all of Japan ate whale forever. No, it is not because you are Buddhist that Christians can't understand it. Stop. If you really believe in what you are doing, don't hide it.

8. Hasn't affected me yet, but it could. Seems like a Tokyo thing.

7. Crazy stuff. Fortunately didn't affect my as a person but made me angry. Surprised that the Japanese police f'd something up? I'm not. As for NOVA, they f'd up the economy for all of us. Thanks.

6. Really? That's interesting.

5. We'll see. I strongly feel that is where Japan's future lies but...

4. Wash.

3. This got under my skin. Especially since I followed it in the Japanese press at first and was completely against the father. They did a really terrible job on the coverage. Mainly asking old people in the neighborhood how it had freaked them out. Natsuki's comment on the whole affair -and I only say this because I fell it echoes a lot of Japanese sentiment- was "Man, foreign people get divorced a lot." Sure, that is really the point.

2. Waiting. We'll see. At least it's something.

1. That was some B.S. right there. I believe that the government didn't understand what was wrong with their proposal. That was what was wrong with their proposal.

How to Stay Alive in the Woods

Of course we all know that the real answer is to develop a civilization over hundreds of year until we have pavement and HBO. Nevertheless I checked the Bradford Angier book of the same name out of the Higashi Osaka library (highly recommended) a few weeks ago. It is one of the most oddly written books I have ever come across.

"Both slingshots and bows and arrows are so familiar that, inasmuch as we will be limited in any event by the materials at hand, there will be no need to do more probably than to suggest them as survival weapons."

"We have boiled the noonday kettle, you and I, and now it is the halfway time when we should head back to camp."

This book, originally published in 1956 as "Living of the Land" also features a chapter entitled "What About Frogs?" Indeed.

Togo

Sad follow up to the Togo story. They have withdrawn from the Cup of Nations, even though the players wanted to continue.

Elvis Was a Hero to Most, But...

Public Enemy was and is one of my favorite groups ever. But one of their lyrics that I always felt needed some fleshing out was, "Elvis was a hero to most but he never meant shit to me. Straight out racist he was, simple and plain..." But what was simple and plain about it. Apparently a story has been floating around the African-American community for over 50 years now. A story that Presley said that the only thing black people were worth was "buying my albums and shining my shoes." No proof has ever been found for this statement. Here is a JET Magazine article from 1957 that debunked the controversy.

Togo Attacked

The Togo national team were machine gunned on their bus today while going to the Cup Of Nations tournament in Angola. The driver was killed and several players are wounded. Ridiculous.

And, Oh Yeah...

...This Happened

Go Bama, Roll Tide!!

Movies Movies Everywhere

Avatar
I went and saw Avatar this week. One of the few. The proud. I was reluctant to go see it at first having an inverse hype thermometer but on a few solid recommendations I ended up with greasy goggles and a smuggled bottle of Coke in the back of good old Movix Kyoto. There is one definite thing I will say for this movie; I didn't look away once. I didn't talk to Natsuki. I didn't fumble for the bottle cap. Once the goggles were on, I was locked in. Visually, of course it was insanely captivating. I don't think the 3-D worked all the time for me but it came through enough. It wasn't a gimmicky 3-D either. It was practical, if that is the word. I remember 10 or 15 years ago when we were told that in the future there would be complete CGI characters and we would accept them the same as actors. I had trouble picturing it at the time, but I completely forgot that I was not watching performers in this film. I am not one to swoon for effects, or effects based films, but it really is striking. Especially the floating ash. That really seemed to work.

Much has been made about the story being simplistic, and it is. But I wonder why this type of story can be simplistic. Is it that- and I say this choking on the bitterness of James Cameron's ever present douche bag- there is something so fundamentally true that we appreciate about exploitation, especially environmental and native exploitation, forgiving extreme violence? Make no mistake, the violence in this movie is extreme. Me, who found Inglorious Basterds superb, found the bloodshed in Avatar slightly disturbing. The audience seemed to have the opposite reaction. Call it the True Lies effect. True Lies is the one film, alongside Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer, that I cannot condone. I found the wanton killing in it truly disturbing. I have also never seen anyone else remark upon it. Oh well. Back to Avatar, it seems a bit of a quirk to me that the biggest movie in America, for that matter in the world, right now, features indigenous people ambushing and killing U.S. Marines. Or is it former U.S. Marines, that wasn't so clear. If one was to make a political case for the actions in the movie, they might indeed be arrested, if not tarred and feathered. It goes without saying that the movie could have been a little more intelligent, I don't think nature needs to be supernatural to be wondrous, but I do applaud the intelligence put into the technical side of things. It is, as most people are telling you, worth seeing.

Letters From Iwo Jima

This was part of the 100 Yen DVD promotion over New Years at Tsutaya. I rented it at Natsuki's behest and she made it about 20 minutes in. I thought it was amazing. There has been talk lately that Clint Eastwood is overrated as a director. I feel that he has some stronger moments and some weaker, but he is still in my top five. (Keep in mind that The Eiger Sanction is one of my favorite movies ever.) The hard part for me is that the best performance in the movie is given by a little twit that I want to smash with my shoe to clear him from my television screen. I am speaking of course of Ninomiya-kun, the candy-prop pop star of the sugar coated shit boy-band Arashi. Ninomiya, you are forgiven. Your job playing Saigo was absolutely great. Watanbe Ken is so consistently good, I won't even mention him. I will, however, single out Ihara Tsuyoshi as Baron Nishi. 100% good. Watch it. Natsuki's commentary: "It's interesting that America is always fighting wars but their country has never been attacked." Japanese school system, you win again.

Star Trek

Finally saw it. Would have rather seen it in the theater. Loved every second of it.

Judo Chop

For my money Bloodyelbow.com has been getting better and better as a website. For instance their Judo Chop feature has been consistently excellent. Here is a break down of Cole Miller's inverted triangle.

Briefly Why the Health Care Bill Pisses Me Off

The bill has been shaped around keeping Republicans and marginal Democrats happy. The bill has been molded to health care lobby specs. President Obama has sat back and done little to nothing push for the public option. As the bill stands now it sucks for the consumer and is a boon for the insurance and medicine industries as well as Wall Street. Now that Republicans have done everything they can to make the bill terrible they will make sure to not vote for it. When the half-assed bill that they helped weaken has half-assed results they will shake they heads and say, "See those poor sad liberals and their ridiculous fantasies." Now, to the masses, the crony capitalist corporate Republicans are the populists. They are guerrilla warfare, government saboteurs. That is why you fight them and ignore them because they are not there to help us. You go around them or you go over them. The lack of fight in the Democratic party would be astounding if it hadn't become pathological. I hope I am wrong. I hope the bill helps a lot of people soon and is revisited in the coming years. I hope.

While We Are On Soccer

Check this shit out Pinda!!

Cameroon

On the eve of the African Cup of Nations it is great to see that Cameroon still has the best unis going.

Rad

A Brief Non-Defense of Aoki Shinya

There was one fight I missed on New Year's Eve. As I walked out the door, hoping to make it to Kiyomizudera by midnight I said, "I wonder what happened with Aoki." Little did I know.

I should begin this non-apologetic apologia by making the claim I have often made in the past but that I feel needs some clarification; Japan is a nation of big excuse makers. I don't want to go too deep into that now as it is not the main issue but, in a society that is always demanding that someone take the fall for everything, people have become very good at passing the buck and evading responsibility. Maybe I have just begun to think that as I teach junior high school, but I believe that it is largely true. "We have to kill whales because we are Buddhists and we don't want animals to go to waste." "We can't import rice from California because real rice can't be grown outside Japan." "We can't bury power cables because Japanese soil is unique." I hate it and I have had enough of it. But.....But.... I am going to make a little excuse for Aoki Shinya.

Here is my argument. Flicking someone off in Japan, which is part of what Aoki did wrong the other night, does not mean what it does in the U.S. What does it mean here (in Japan)? I don't know. You know who else doesn't know? Japanese people. When I lived out in the middle of nowhere I used to play mini-volleyball, which is the silliest non-sport going. One guy on my team was trying to explain to me that I should stop trying to spike on every play and try to pass more. As he was telling me this he was flicking me off the whole time. My reaction was to try and kill him but I repressed that and left the little concrete gym and never went back. When I asked other people who were there about what had happened, they couldn't figure out what I was upset about. "So?" They would say, honestly at a loss about what could be upsetting. My friend was crossing the street one day in Miyazaki as an old man passed by him smiling and raising his middle finger. What was he on about? Who knows?

In the last few years teaching at particularly bad junior highs I have seen the bird flicked at least once a week. When it has been directed at me I usually say, "I'm not going to get mad this time but if you do it again, we have trouble." This has invariably been followed with "Sensei, what does doing that (insert offensive gesture here) mean?" I respond, "If you don't know what it means then why do you do it." Of course no one gets this, it is Japan. Why do people who don't smoke pot keep head shops in business? Why do girls with flat asses make booty videos? Why are there Buddhists Rastafarians? Who knows? I usually tell people that in America it means you want to fight someone, which, while being a paltry explanation, would be the result. It is the closest you can get to spitting on someone in terms of getting a reaction.

Am I claiming that Aoki Shinya is an innocent who might as well have held up his thumb like he was flagging down a ride, or made hook-'em horns, that it would have all been the same meaning to him? No. What I would claim about Aoki, and I don't know the man personally, is that he is kind of a dork. He seems like a guy, from listening to him talk, who is not the most socially acute gentleman in the academy. I have a feeling that this wasn't his first uncalculated action. I say this based off of lots of guys I know in MMA in Japan. A lot of them are my friends. A lot of them are good people. A lot of them are not suave young masters parting the seas of civil society. A pro-fighter of my acquaintance often flicks me off while calling me a "stupid foreigner." Would this seem okay to me in America? Not in the least. But I consider this man a friend and a bit of a hopeless loser, although a good fighter. I could say the same of Aoki.

As I alluded to above, I see teenage boys flick of their friends all day long in class and giggle at each other. They will knock on the window passing by and flick off their friends. I just hang my head in futility. I noticed Takaya's fan section flicking off the cameras as he made his way through the lightweight tournament. They didn't look angry, they looked happy. As I saw the replays of Aoki running around the ring chunking the half-deuce like a true moron I had the same reaction I usually do to this stuff. The same reaction I have when a club full of kids raised at cram schools and living with their parents shout along with gangster rap and shout "pull-off" to every reggae song. I hang my head, rub my eyes with my fingers and shake my head slowly at a culture without any context.

If you are going to get mad at Aoki get mad at him for not caring about the meaning of what he was doing, not for thinking he was a macho badass, I doubt it even occurred to him.

Japanese Songs of the Decade: Dishonourable Mention

There is a lot of doo-doo in the Japan music pool. Let's scoop some out.

Catch the Wave- Def Tech

Possibly the worst song I have every heard. Japanese people ate this shit up. They played this at a bar and Miyazaki last week and people were dancing around. When I say how much I hate it, I usually get treated to "But one of them is white." Or "Surfers love them." Both of which also apply to cocaine and toilet paper. Fuck their bullshit. I mean "Ja-waian Reggae."



Around the World- Monkey Majik

Figure out why I hate this shit. Two Canadian brothers figure out how to make music scamming the Japanese public. I must like them...I am white.



Butterfly- Koda Kumi

Stop influencing my students. Stop telling women over 30 that their ovaries are rotten. Go away. On a personal level, Hey Ms. Koda. How you doin?



Ai Uta- Greeeen

If you understood how many times I have heard this goddamned song. Ahhhhh!




Sekai ni Hitotsu no Hana- Smap

I had to listen to this mother f'r about 900 times. As my friend Tatsuya said, "What a load of shit. Stop telling Japanese children that. It isn't okay to want to lose. No one wants to feel okay being a loser." It was an epic Tatsuya explosion. So for that....F You Smapu!



Japanese Dancehall Reggae- In General



Shanghai Honey- Orange Range

I'll never get it.



Heartsdales- Whatever

Make it stop. They grew up in NY by the way so there is really no excuse.



This list is making my brain hurt. I will stop now.

Japan Songs of the Decade: Honorable Mention

Some songs I left out of my last list which deserve mention.

Funktastic- Ripslyme

They had a good decade.



Rakuen Baby- Riplsyme

Like I was saying.



The Way Hope Goes- Tha Blue Herb

Smart, poltical Japanese hip-hop. Who knew?



Skaravan- Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra

These guys are just good. That's all.



Joy-Yuki


Very odd. Very catchy.

Pop Star- Hirai Ken

I used to hate this guy. I grew to respect his very real talent.



A bonus for you.



I Like It -Crystal Kay/ M-Flo

What actual talent looks like. A little silly, but....

UFC 108: She Has No Control

"2009, a wistful dusky year." said UFC Commissioner Dana White, wearing retro Buster Browns and drinking an Orange Julius. "We traded candidate Obama for cooperate facilitator Obama. We traded President Bush for President Lieberman. We traded Walter Cronkite.....We traded." At this his voice broke, he lowered to one knee, gathered himself and held his hand out as a modern King Kamehameha.

Gunderson vs. Oliveira: I am not one to hesitate about saying that I don't know. I don't know enough about these guys. The evidence isn't solid enough to make a decision based off of. Oliviera is nicknamed "Tractor" and fights out of Knoxvegas. Gunderson has a much longer record, but neither of them have fought any big names. Let's go Oliviera by doctor stoppage round 3.

Pyle vs. Ellenberger: People seem to be predicting things for Ellenberger. I am not sold yet. Pyle by sub in the 1st.

Munoz vs. Jensen: Two wrestler types who probably won't wrestle. Munoz is my hard luck winner by decision.

Lauzon vs. Miller: Miller is the smart pick in this. He has the size and the record and the training. I like him as a fighter. Lauzon has been winning but against nobodies. For some reason though I got Lauzon in this. I like the Lauzon's crazy factor. Lauzon by leg lock in the first.

Kampmann vs. Volkmann: If Lloyd Christmas (Volkmann) can wrestle this out then he is the one to pick but I have been sweet on Kampmann since he first came up. He hasn't been so great lately but he has very solid stand-up and a certain savvy on the ground. Volkmann has the ability to hold him down and bore us but I am going for Kampmann to land more on the feet and survive on the ground for a decision.

dos Santos vs. Yvel: This should be a barn burner. I am sold on dos Santos but don't sleep on Yvel if you have never seen him before. He is a mad man. He is a hurricane. He will poke your eyes and then kill the ref. In the end I think that dos Santos's crisp striking will get him a KO in the 2nd, but Yvel has a real ability to hurt him, especially with knees. Exciting fight.

Miller vs. Ludwig: Miller is a bad, bad man. He has crushing submissions and tough stand-up. Ludwig is no joke kickboxing, but this isn't kickboxing. Miller rips off a piece of Ludwig in the 1st.

Lauzon vs. Stout: This fight is very similar to the Miller/ Ludwig match. Lauzon isn't as powerful as Miller, which should make this encounter more interesting. I love how the Lauzons fight. They have the madcap, crazy eye, Hideo Tokoro style I can get behind. Stout is a very good stand-up fighter with little else. Lauzon gets either an anaconda or a foot-lock. I say heel-hook in the 1st. I am all about this fight.

Daley vs. Hazelett: I don't know whether I am stoked or concerned about this fight. Daley has been my boy since I saw him fighting in Cage Rage years ago. The guy can knock out anybody. Anybody. Calling him Semtex is more than appropriate. However, his ground game is nascent if it exists at all.. If you watch the Jake Shields fight it is almost absurd how unskilled he is on the ground but how his power and athleticism and will kept him in the fight. Hazelett, on the other hand, is one of my absolute favorite new fighters. He is an otherworldly grappler. He is on a different level in the cage than almost anyone else. His sense and thought process is a step ahead of everyone else. Hazelett is talking up his improved striking. He can improve all he wants but Daley is years ahead of him. Daley can knock him out at any point in this fight but I think Hazelett subs him in the 2nd. I am already nervous about this fight though. Great fighters both. Seeing as Daley failed to make weight this is either more unpredictable.

Evans vs. Silva: This is a hard one to call for me. Silva is a tough, tough dude with a killer mount. I think Evans has the speed-both hand and in general on him- but Silva is hard to take out with a flash KO. We don't know much about Evans' ground game. I know he postures up well and dispenses G-N-P, but how will he do if he gets mounted by Silva? I am not sure it will get there though. Evans has the advantage of the best camp in the business and solid wrestling to fall back on. It is a tough fight but I think Evans gets the pound TKO in the 3rd.

Put it in your cubby-hole kids. Zach, say hi to Arazh Markazi for us. Tell him to copy this and fax it in.