UFC 78 "Tide of Fate" Predictions

After a great amount of consternation and soul searching, the great minds that control the UFC -Satan, Blowfeld and Daddy Warbucks- have decided to go on with their event this weekend despite the tragic deaths of Norman Mailer and Lance Hahn. Here are my predictions:

Akihiro Gono Vs. Tamdan McCrory: Gono has fought everybody. He has won some, he has lost some. Tamdan McCrory is a barn cat. Gono by decision.

Luke Caudillo Vs. Marcus Aurellio: Aurellio is at the tale end of a carer that looked as if it would be storied. Caudillo has some nutty tattoos, a good record and fails to interest me. Aurellio by submission in the 3rd.

Jason Reinhardt Vs. Joe Lauzon: I loved Joe Lauzon. Then he went to train with B.J. Penn. Now I must super-love him. He looks like the crazy kid on the block who took his treehouse a little too seriously. He fights with a rare furry. Plus Reinhardt looks like a gross guy who hangs out at a restaurant down by the docks and has dinosaur arms. Lauzon by death whenever he feels like it.

Chris Lytle Vs. Thiago Alves: Alves is Brazilian and fights for American Top Team. I should be for him. But I will be consistent ; I have said that I think that Lytle can fight anyone to a decision. I say that still. Lytle by decision.

Frank Edgar Vs. Spencer Fisher: Edgar is an impressive fighter. I don't care for Miletich fighters, nevertheless; Fisher by 2nd round KO.

Ryo Chonan Vs. Karo Parisyan: This is the fight that most interests me. Chonan has always put on exciting fights. He beat Anderson Silva with a now notorious submission. Parisyan, despite his boorish appearance on TUF is one of my favortie fighters to watch...ever. He has made the smoothest transition from judoka to MMA. His use of judo throws without the gi is incredible. For being a powerful, explosive guy, he has little to no knockout power. Parisyan by decision.

Joe Doerkson Vs. Ed Herman: All of my better senses tell me Doerkson by submission. He has tons of experience and a solid sub game. Somehow I think this is the fight were Herman's strength and ability come together. Herman by bloody TKO in the 3rd.

Thiago Silva Vs. Houston Alexander: I have yet to witness the Houston Alexander phenomenon , but I believe in it. Alexander by 1st round KO.

Michael Bisping Vs. Rashad Evans: Bisping is a guy that you know that is very athletic. Rashad Evans is an athlete. I don't know if he is the real deal as an MMA champion, but he is the real deal as an athelte. Bisping won't be able to keep Evans off of him. Evans by 3rd round TKO.

Take it to the office.

Chipper

My mom has become strangely obsessed with her new dog. Hi mom. You have become strangely obsessed with your new dog. We had another dog. I think he was treated poorly as he was a product of a failed marriage. He died. Sorry mom. So my mom wants everyone to vote for how cute her dog is. She also called me to ask if she could throw away all of my old soccer trophies and my taekwondo belt and uniform. Interesting. Very interesting. Is this what April and I get for not giving her grandbabies.

Japanese Science

Last Friday in class I mentioned something about tomatoes being a fruit. The class went nuts and yelled at me. One boy said, "Well, what about cucumbers!?!" When I said that tomatoes have seeds inside them. I told him to look into it himself and said that if tomatoes were really a vegetable I would jump off the roof of the school. Forgetting that a student in Kobe recently killed himself that way. I kind of meant it in the sense of 'pigs can fly' or something. Bad job me. Wednesday in the office I was trying to explain to Nakajima-sensei, the teacher of that class, why tomatoes are a fruit. Her response was, "Maybe in foreign countries it is." Okay. Okay. It isn't a big deal. I am sure in America people would argue with you about tomatoes being a fruit. But, you know that in Japan this is going to be the default excuse. The laws of science in Japan are not the laws of science in the rest of the universe. This used to be the joke at Kansai Gaidai when I first moved here. Even among educated people they believe crazy things, like Japanese people have shorter intestines. Or the famous reasoning in the Alex Kerr book stating that Japan can't put power lines underground because the soil in Japan is unique. Of course, people all over the world have stupid beliefs not based in science, it is just astonishing how close tot he surface the essential Japanese belief that they are a different people in a country set aside from the rest of the world. This belief is so strong it offsets the laws of science. I got the science teacher involved. All the teachers gathered around as she searched the internet and pronounced me right. They were still reluctant to accept it. I kept saying "Vegetable is a culinary term, fruit is also a scientific term. Vegetables don't exist in science. They are unsweet edible plant products." They gradually believed me. Reluctantly. We agreed that maybe peanut butter and celery could be tasty.

Know Your Rights

Here is an article about your legal rights concerning gaijin cards in Japan.

Nick Diaz

Really. I don't know why they called the fight. War Nick Diaz!

Florida

Florida don't play son.

Reagan=Racist?

Why the question mark you ask? No reason whatsoever. It should be an exclamation point. Have you been following the ongoing brouhaha in the NYT? David Brooks, on staff moron, insists that Reagan's campaign kickoff speech in Neshoba, Mississippi about 'states rights' was all a big coincidence. Krugman fired back. As did Bob Herbert. I will save space and let them outline the issues. The only thing that I will state is that the biggest joke in the press today, and there are many, is the constant charade that Republicans didn't gain control of the South, and then the government by playing to racists. They will talk about 'values voters' and 'Christian conservatives.' They will come up with 900 other reasons than the fact the LBJ signed away the South when he signed the Civil Rights Act. Reagan knew what he was doing, Lee Atwater said so. Nixon knew what he was doing. So did the Bushes. I will give the current Bush this litle bit of credit; I do get the feeling that, personally, he is not that wedded to a racist philospohy, just a classist one. That has not, however, stopped him, and every other Republican in the country from reaping the success that racists, and racism bring them. Believe it.

And I Don't Feel so Good Myself

I still haven't written more about Lance Hahn being dead because I figure that the people who care enough about it already feel sick about it and those that don't would have a hard time understanding. On the other side of the spectrum, Norman Mailer died. Mailer was sour everywhere Lance was sweet. Mailer was praised in every way that Lance was overlooked. They both seem just as important to me. I enjoy Mailer for being brash and outspoken and full of himself. I wish I could feel half as talented as he did when he was just talking in his sleep. An enjoyable guy. I good writer. Here is a link to his essay The White Negro which I remember loving at some point in time. I don't know if I still do. I'll read it again. I like the rhythm in his essays, like a pudgy white man who took on boxing as a hobby. The atheist in the foxhole: Norman Mailer.

Survival Porn

For reasons that I shant explain I was researching spring snares and figure-4 deadfalls (basic small game traps) when I ran across this article. It is one of the strangest intersections of bad writing (intending-as bad writing often does-to be very good writing), misguided subject matter, and unintentional confession, that I have ever run across. It reads like a 1st person porn confessional, yet more carnal and disturbing. Behold! (at your own peril).

Soccer Roster

The roster is out for the U.S. game in South Africa on the 17th. Adu and Altidore are in, Rad. I like the look of this team.

Don't Mess with Diaz

Nick Diaz fights this weekend. I enjoy the Nick Diaz.

Update: The unthinkable is true. Nick lost via a doctors stoppage due to cuts around his eyes. Reports differ as to the wisdom of this decision.

Judo Dilemma

The free ride was bound to end someday. I have been scolded. Admonished. Upbraided. Reproached. Suwa Sensei, the amiable drunk judo coach that befriended me, showed me his secret room, tried to get me to go to a house of ill repute and invited me to judo club, freaked out on me in the teacher's room on Wednsesday. I really have no clue why. The argument stems from issues surrounding my judo-gi. The dojo at the school has two dressing rooms and a teacher's office. He told me to leave my dogi in an empty locker in the teacher's office. I asked many times if he was sure that was okay. I was assured that it was. As I am not always able to go to judo club, and then not for the whole time, I would leave my dogi there during the week and then take it home and wash it on Friday. A month or so ago, Suwa Sensei told me, "No, use it twice wash it once. Ok?" I told him it would be no problem as I would be just as happy to take it home everyday, but he had asked me to use the locker. As I was busy with bunkasai preparations I wasn't always able to go to judo. I went on Monday, and couldn't go on Wednesday. I was very busy with English club when Suwa Sensei found me and said, "Take home your gi!" I told him that I was sorry, but that I hadn't brought my gym bag that day. "No! You have to take it home every two practices." "Ok. Got it." Ever since, Suwa has been really cold to me. We both had colds though so, I wrote it up to that. This week I had made sure to ask him very politely if I could come to judo. Monday was fine. I hung my gi in the locker. Wednesday, I asked him very politely if I could come to judo. He freaked out and said "You left it again! Your...that thing...you left it!" I apologized and told him that I was taking it home after every two practices like he had said. "That's just an excuse! I don't want to hear it. You just don't listen. You are not a real teacher here anyway so you should just do everything like you are a student and not a teacher, because you're not. DO you understand! Do you understand!?!?" I went along because a lot of these old gruff guys just want to see that you are willing to take it and then they will be nice. He wasn't even close to nice after. I have become progressively more pissed-off as these two days have passed. I didn't decide that the Japanese government is racist and won't allow non-ethnic Japanese to be public employees. Today I asked Yoshida Sensei, the lady who sits next to me, about it. She said that the judo club kids really like me and they are scared of Suwa, so maybe that pisses him off. I don't know. He was so nice to me when I first got there. It should be pointed out that old Japanese guys are hard to understand under the best of circumstances. Why would they not expect some misunderstanding? Why would I need an excuse? I'm not a teenager. I really don't mind taking my gi home. Odd.

My Internet

Was turned off for a few days. Not due to poverty. Something with the building. Sorry. I know you live for this shit.

Goodbye Lance

http://lancehahn.org/

I loved Lance's music more than I love almost anything. We were lucky enough to play one show with him and I didn't talk to him because I dug the guy so much that I didn't want to sound like a fan. They didn't sound so great, as J-Church was prone not to, but they were still wonderful shining geniuses. Lance wrote the best songs I know. People write them off I think because they seem simple and they are about his cats, or a trip he took or a movie he watched. But they are all special. He was really special. I mailed him when I found out he was sick to tell him that. Maybe he read it. I think of all the strange little corners of Hawaii or San Francisco that I would never known about had Lance not sung them to me. I will miss hearing about overworked waitresses and lesbian high-school basketball team members. The best thing I can say about who lives and who dies is that at least he didn't get shot in the back. I want to write something better for him but I really don't feel like it right now. Maybe punk really is dead. Next thing you know, Greenday will be really famous and Jawbreaker will have a music video...wait...Spill a Corona for the mighty Lance Hahn.

So where's my sense of humor
My life is a disaster
No one's got a future
So let's all get there faster

In the morning the sun fills my room
I think I'll call in sick today and keep my afternoon.

Drunkity Drunk Drunk

This Saturday evening past saw me coaxed from my hole after weeks of mind bending flu-like symptoms, and equally otherworldish school festivals. My odd friend Akko, and her friends were attending the opening of a new reggae club. Oh, Japanese reggae you hotbed of invention. You petri dish of cleverness. Oh Japanese reggae, who never saw a microphone not fit to be shouted unintelligibly into. My cup of tea, you ask. Iced. 11:30 at night and Akko's friends, Kaori, whom I have met and a boy and girl whom I have not are dead set on eating dinner first. I had manufactured curry-rice, minus rice with rancid potatoes from the dollar store. My stomach is swimming for safety. It is long before the first beer that I realize that Akko's friend whom I don't know-the girl-is decidedly my typish. Confounded. To the izakaya. As I have stated, Akko is an odd one. Our relationship consists of what would appear from the outside as 'dates' but merely involve her getting very drunk, delivering a vague, mysterious monologue about her year in Australia, slowly passing out and then snapping to declaring that she has to be somewhere else immediately. She often says things that I can't quite here and when I ask, "What did you just say?" She responds, "Nothing, why?" And then looks at me like I forgot to zip up my fly. She is also taken with the notion that I am fat and struggling with my weight. I am not. Two beers down and her guy friend has decided that I am a good guy. The story about my busted up keitai is a hit all around, but we must run to the reggae club as their pal "Autolock" has taken to the microphone.
I am the only foreigner in the crowded club and do not stand out at all. Autolock is MCing about the days of the week. I would be less than honest if I didn't say that he wasn't, in fact, somewhat better than bad. I think Japan manufactures vacuous attractive women, stores them, and then fires them out of cannons, like grape shot, at me. So that I don't pause and tell you throughout my story, I drank many Coronas this evening. Many. People bought them for me. I bought them for people. At the end of the night I threw somebody onto a floor. In between some other stuff happened.
One MC, wearing a camouflage jacket and sunglasses took to the stage yelling, "It is normal for a guy to like girls...you know what I'm sayin!" I was hoping I had misunderstood until he launched into a spiel in which the only discernible words were "Batty boy." I told Akko that I was going to shove a Corona up his ass. In typical Japan fashioned she explained, "People don't know what he is saying. These guys are amateurs, not pros." As we all know, rampant violent homophobia and its encouragement are acceptable as long as you aren't playing in the bigs, like chewing tobacco in reverse. I was going to confront him later but I gradually forgot what everyone looked like. Except for this one girl Kana who was wearing a white, long-sleeved sweater and pink hot pants. As a licensed representative of Miyazaki hospitality, I took it upon myself to speak with her. I came to understand that she was only interested in speaking to foreigners if they were black. Who ever accused the Japanese people of shallowness. Forsooth. I ask you dear reader, who is blacker than me? Really.
The drunker I got the more I felt it was my duty to spread my friendliness to the masses. Unfortunately the gift of language, so unique to us humans, had forsaken me. I ended up being driven home, possibly by a drunk person-although I certainly hope not, after wandering arm and arm with various people through the Kiyamachi sunrise protesting that I didn't need any ride home. I tossed myself into the shower and plunged into my newly bought futon sometime around 6. I see that there is a mail on my phone from 6:30. I am scared to look. What did I do? Did I drunk mail? Oh, I think you know that I most certainly labadid.
I awoke to a severe migraine inspired in part by the beer, but largely from my lingering sinus infection which had hardened into a tobacco provoked ball of hardened mucus somewhere amongst my brains. I took Excedrin, thanked God for its invention and went back to bed. What great sleep, I thought, and then remembered that it was the first time in a month that I hadn't slept on a piece of wood with a blanket. I also used shampoo and soap. The only thing missing from my familiar Sunday morning was the obligatory phone call from Ed asking, "Do you remember what you were doing last night?" "No. If I don't remember, then don't tell me." "Hahahaha." "Don't tell me."

Bonus Tune

One of my favorite tunes ever.

Tune for the Day

My Escorts: Miyu and the other girl

imaichi bunkasai172, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

I liked this ikebana

imaichi bunkasai168, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

Imaichi Bunkasai

imaichi bunkasai015, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

Friday we had our bunkasai at Imaichi-chu. For those of you who can't read Japanese, that is what it says behind the band dressed like pirates. The bunkasai is nice , because it means that I don't have to work, but it is rough because it means that all of the kids have been exhausted for the last several weeks with preparations. Bunkasai, means culture festival. It is the Japanese education systems companion piece to the other big event of the year, the sports festival. Unlike last weeks bunkasai at Mikuni, which was held in a large hall and featured the best junior high band I have seen on any level, this one was held in the gym and the band was about what you would expect, except they were dressed like pirates. I felt bad, but I wanted to take everyone to see the Mikuni band instead. Aoyama-sensei accompanied them on the accordian and was just as bad as he was last time, but everyone had fun. The percussion section danced around with maracas and smiled, which was odd because they are not really outgoing kids. Sorry Susan, but the band always makes me think of you being uncomfortable but dancing around anyway.
These pirates were followed by a performance from the book club. I have no need to tell you how captivating that was. Books.
The chorus contest winers from Thursday came out and sang with more elaborate comedy skits featuring their home room teachers. Usually this involves yelling whatever is the catchphrase at the moment, which, if you live in Japan you know is the unfortunate, "sore ha kankene...opapi." Which is decidedly not funny and has limited me from saying, "Sore ha kankeneshi." Which was useful when teaching. Natuski has admitted that she thinks it is very funny. Not a good sign.
Then the English club went. Oh the English club. I had been helping them prepare their production of Little Red Riding Hood since I first came to the school. ABout a month ago I said, "You guys should really think about blocking this out pretty soon." "Hai." They responded meekly. Attending their practice last week I was assured that they had it blocked and had even thrown in a dance number. Little did I know this involved the grandmother, a pudgy girl who couldn't bring herself to yell raise her voice above a conversational drone even in the snug confines of practice, confessing to really being the grandfather which sets off a huge dance finale to the song, "In the Tiki Room." In which all of the cast dance around, do the splits and take their bows in character. Yes Ghost Dog, ancient Japan was a strange and interesting place.
The mentally handicapped school from across the street stopped by and did a song for us. I thought many things that I won't say and was very impressed that all 400 students sat through it very politely and applauded.
Last came the 3rd year chorus contest. Finally the class I picked one. It was 3-4. What a darkhorse. It turns out that crazy-ass Obata, the loudest girl I have ever met and with nutty pigtails and braces to boot, has a lovely singing voice. I had to listen to the song "Tabibito"-we are travelers through time, we are travelers through dreams-far too many times. To conclude that entire student body sang the song from yesterday, "Furusato." "The rabbit here tastes great."
After a very nice bento lunch, I wandered the school checking out the exhibits. The science projects were half-assed. American ones are better. No kidding. Don't believe the hype. There was some nice Ikebana and other artwork. I hung out with the girls from 3-2, as the boys at Imaichi are weird. I went by home ec. twice because the teacher is hot. Sneaking out early, I went home and fell asleep.

Love, Exciting and New.

Ladies and gentlemen; my new fiancee.

Flu? What Flu?

I felt decent this morning. Decent being tired, and worn out, and defeated. You know, normal. At Sanjo, there was a lady looking tired and confused in a devil costume with her hair all messed up. The train ride of shame. I felt a tremendous sense of loss.
Today was the chorus contest at school. I heard a song which begins "The rabbit here tastes good." 11 times. Every class I voted for to win came in second. I have a special talent. They let me go early and I weighed coming back to Kyoto and changing my address on my Alien Registration and insurance, but decided to finally go out to the Toulouse-Lautrec exhibit at the Suntory museum as it ends on Sunday and I didn't want to be there in a weekend crowd. Lautrec is one of the few painters that I can actually stare at and stare at and feel somewhat effected. His stuff is so amazing in person. There were a crowd of Australian people there uttering things like "I think I've seen this stuff somewhere." And, "I think these are just some sketches." When I looked up to see who the dumb foreigners were I realized they were all Asian so I couldn't immediately tell who the morons were. They weren't dressed like Australians; boots with shorts and a comedic t-shirt that isn't funny. There was a Japanese lady in black, high-heeled boots and a big black hat. That was rad.

Happy Halloween

Sometimes I miss the radio show. I would have been doing my annual Halloween show this week. Here is a tune I always played on it. I guess it would be Saito Kofun Matsuri practice about now. And Kagoshima dragon boat racing. And Miyakonojo Halloween party. Instead I taught the handicapped class about colors and gave them a little plastic pumpkin. I bought a few of them and a bunch of candy to give out until I remembered that it is a Japanese school and I can't give out candy.

Me = a Prick?

I will tell you my story. You be the judge. I will explain my reasoning after.
I awoke this morning after sleeping a solid 12 hours on cold medicine last night. I wandered down to Omiya station in a flu like daze around 7, chugging on a warm Royal Milk Tea and trying to come to terms with the universe as it revolved.
On the platform I realized that I was standing in the line for the 3-door train when the 2-door train was coming. Losing my place in line, I shook my mucous sodden head and moved to the back. As the line further formed behind me I heard a voice with surprised energy declare questioningly, "America!?!" (everything said by me from this moment on will be in Japanese-as I refuse to entertain these people-everything said by the perpetrator will be in dumb English.) I looked around at the air and subway tiles and the backs of people's heads and settled on the face of a balding man in a boring grey suit next to me. I looked around for a while again and then turned back to him and said, "Japan!?!" "Yes, Yes. America?" He responded with enthusiasm. I pondered for a second. I couldn't think. I couldn't really grasp what was going on. "What do you think.....I don't know.....maybe." Was all I could come up with. "Oh. I don't know. Perhaps." He said, pleased with himself.
At this point, I whipped out the razor blade that I keep tucked between my lip and my gums like a wad of tobacco and sliced both of his cheeks open so his face flapped like a tall ship at the bicentennial. "Happy Halloween motherfucker!" I screamed, did an Indian war whoop and jumped off the platform, running into the darkness of the tunnel screaming.
Now, part of that story is completely false. As for the part that isn't; it might be hard to understand if you don't live in another country. Not so much if you are not white and live in America. You probably know what it is like to have someone remind you every day for no reason that you are not one of them. I am waiting on a 7:18 train to go to work with a cold, and all I exist for is to amuse some yahoo with the fact that I am not him. It gets old. Maybe if he was a hot chick, I would be happy about it. It just works my nerves. Do you know me? It is a weird approach anyway. It isn't, "Oh, I see you in the morning. Do you take the train to work?" Or anything like that. It is just shouting your speculated nationality at you.

Still Feel Like Garbage

I need to write about the bunkasai. I need to return my late videos. All I can do is come home sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night, struggle to go back to sleep, wake up tired and then repeat the process again.

Today at school we tried to teach "I like. He/She likes." It went terribly. The underlying problem is that the kids have never been taught subject/verb. They don't understand verbs. I explained "He is. She is. I am. He likes. She likes. I like." So they would write things like "He is likes." I told the teacher that it is hard to go forwards when they can't understand that you can't have two verbs. She said, "Maybe. But this is what we have to teach now." So we have to teach them something they don't understand when they have no structure to fall back on and then we move on from there. That is why no one can speak English here.

I Feel Like Doo-Doo

I have a ton of stuff to write about but I feel like the marrow is slowly being sucked from my bones. I cowboyed up and got the bunkasai together this week. I even made it to the nomikai (drinking party). I thought if I slept late on Saturday and everything would be all good. As usual the rule has been followed; whenever "all good" is uttered, things are far from good. Witness Murray's for the Miyazaki literate. I think my cold crashed dived into my tendons and is now devouring every solid structure in my body. I sucked it up and went downtown today, as the weather is beautiful but I found that my cold, and its accompanying medicine had rendered my sense of depth perception out of whack. Not conducive to a weekend in the Kyoto shotengai. I was getting freaked out just looking at people moving so I packed it in and came home. All I can do is sit here or sleep. Unfortunately I have to meet up with my friend Akko tonight as I promised to take her to birthday dinner last week, but that never materialized either. I should prove great company, not being able to taste anything and counting down the minutes until I can slip back to sleep. I don't even have the energy to return my late videos.

Miyazaki's Blowin' Up

An article giving props to Miyazaki.

Genarlow Wilson

The Georgia Supreme Court corrected a huge injustice, although 2 years to late, and has ordered Genarlow Wilson freed from jail. This case was disgusting and ridiculous. I hope it has drawn enough attention to get Mr. Wilson a second chance at college.

Headlines

Pit bulls kill cancer boy's miniature horse

That was the headline. Honest. A sad story. Oh, the headline.

Midnight Madness

A Tuesday night sleep marathon helped me through my cold. I hoped for more of the same last night. The bosozoku, however, had other plans. For some reason they have been congregating around Nijo Eki lately. What a narcissistic pastime. Little fuckups. And the police do hardly anything about them- accept for chase them around, which is what they want. If it were America I think they might last around 20 minutes. If it were Northwest Florida, I think it would go something like this: Do you remember them boys what rode them motorcycles?
Nope.
HeHeHe. Damn Right.
I think they should completely legalize them. But they should also allow everyone who wants to to carry a shotgun loaded with rock-salt, or a baseball bat.

Last night they were chasing peoples cars and screaming "Your back door is open!" And then revving their engines. It is so ridiculous.

They broke up after 12 sometime and I tired to get to sleep. Whereupon Alex and Cam decided it would be funny to give me the insistent drunk phone call. I wouldn't answer, but this lasted for about 20 minutes as my keitai played "The Boys are Back in Town" through my dark apartment. I couldn't set the alarm on my keitai because it would answer the phone. With friends like these uh?

Japanese Justice System

I ran across this in the Japan Times today. I remember when this happened in Miyazaki. It was terrible. This guy had a reputation as a real asshole, but that has nothing to do with the awfulness of his story. His house was set on fire and he woke up and ran out and then couldn't get back in to get his wife and daughter. His other daughter had just gone away to college. Some of my students were classmates with the daughter who was killed. In this report it says the arsonist was a thief. I had heard that he was a crazy guy who said that he thought it would be fun to set something on fire. Probably deserves more than ten years.

Teaching the English

I have been teaching a buttload of classes with this cold. I have reached a strange kind of high, where I am simply wandering through the scenery three seconds behind everyone else. Yesterday at Mikuni one of my English elective classes had to put on the small plays they wrote a few weeks back. Four of the boys did a scene with three hikers and one bear. Matsuda, the judo black belt played the bear. "Hello, I am bear." Was his line. They then proceeded to do the conversation from the book asking the bear to take their picture and then inviting him to lunch. It was a pretty money junior high moment.

Today I was so sick, I barely made it through class. I slept on the train, straight through Sanjo to Demachiyanagi so I had to get another train back to the subway. In class we did a terrible lesson where we read about Hikozo meeting President Lincoln. The only good part about that class is that one of my students, Ms. Han, is Chinese so I make her teach me Chinese during class. All I can say is "How many sheets of paper?" Sorry Susan.

UFC 77

I got to watch Anderson Silva defeat Rich Franklin last night. I think it is safe to say that Silva is one of the great great martial artists of our time. He looks prepared to go on a Matt Hughes like run. His performance was nothing short of amazing.

Return to the Netherworld

Every year in Japan I get a hellacious cold. I though I would avoid it this year since I am not working any pre-schools and had been taking my vitamins. But I have been off the vitamins and I ride a crowded train everyday. So, I have a cold. I feel rotten. I did four good classes today but I started to think I had a fever. I came home and went to sleep. When I woke up and picked up my shirt, i was still wet with sweat, so I guess it was a fever. I didn't get colds so much in America, I just have no resistance to the Japanese strain....if you know what I'm sayin'.

UFC 77

I was exactly right about Franklin vs. Silva. The end. If I were a psychic that would be enough to keep me booked on Larry King for the year. I had Bonnar right, but off by a round. Sadly wrong about Vera although I still think he is the real deal. Silvia is just a rough opponent. Sadly this will keep him around for a while longer. I think that Franklin will never see another reign as champion. I can only see Silva being taken out by a great wrestler with exceptional takedowns who can somehow avoid being kneed in the process. Then, if he can take the crown from Silva maybe Franklin could come in and take it back, but I don't really see that happening.

It Done Got Cold

Growing up in Florida, usually around Halloween a slight breeze would come in and one would get the notion of what fall might be like in places where they had fall. November in Florida is like an uncomfortable impression of Autumn by someone who has only heard about what it is like. Winter gets dilly-dallied with like a retiree taking up painting; it might happen, it might not.

Japan gets cold like teenagers get pregnant. It seems like an accident. A joke. You are walking around in a t-shirt one day, deciding whether you should wear flip-flops or if you can summon the effort to put on socks, then that evening you are searching franticly for your gloves and jamming your fingers far down into the pockets of a jacket that smells like dust and mold. And then it stays cold until sometime after the last hanami. A deep, wet cold that hangs in every floorboard. That torments every morning shower.

UFC 77 "Tuff Titty" Illegal Betting Guide

I actually don't believe in gambling. It's socialist. I didn't even realize that the last UFC had happened as I was locked in the guest house being fed Korean food through a funnel and listening to my neighbor chant and cry. But, here I will give you the no-shit, honest to god, straight dope for UFC 77, with the disclaimer for this year of competition: Shit Happens. Belive it. Forrest Griffin beat Shogun. That is ridiculous. Does the step down from no drug testing to vague and spotty drug testing make that huge a difference? Bringing mere mortals into contact with kakutogi godheads? The mind boggles.

Jorge Gurgel Vs. Alvin Robinson: Gurgel has 3 straight decisions. 2 wins to 1 loss. A decision win over Danny Abaddi does not a legend make. Nevertheless ALvin Robinson submitted to strikes from Kenflo. Gurgel by decision.

Matt Grice Vs. Jason Black: Black is coming of 2 losses. Black by superhero sideburns.

Jason McDonald Vs. Yushin Okami: The smart money is on Okami, but I hate Japanese people. I like Jason McDonald's fighting style (submission submission submission.) McDonald by submission in the 2nd.

Stephan Bonnar Vs. Eric Schafer: Continuing the comeback from his steroid suspension, Bonnar is really fighting against obscurity. It is an uphill fight. I still feel that he has some of the strongest technical skills, especially with his boxing, in the game. Not a brutal athlete however. It should be enough to carry him past Schafer. Bonnar by 3rd round KO.

Demian Maia Vs. Ryan Jensen: Would you like me to pretend I know something about either of these guys? Just call me Arash Markazi. (Booyakasha!) Maia by decision.

Kalib Starnes Vs. Alan Belcher: Kalib Starnes by decision by virtue of saying that the more he read Chomsky the less he cares about the UFC. Word.

Josh Burkman Vs. Forrest Petz: I somehow missed the Burkman train, but everyone seems to be on board. woo-WOOT! I enjoy M. Petz's tasty breaded candies, however, Burkman by decision.

Brandon Vera Vs. Tim Sylvia: I want to be a contrarian and believe that Tim Sylvia is actually likeable and a really decent fighter. I can't summon the vinegar. Sylvia is doo-dootastic. Vera is rad. Vera has the hype machine firmly pressing his amble booty, yet I believe it. Sorry Flavor. I used to think Vera had some of the worst tattoos in MMA until I read that they are ancient Filipino writing. That's cool. If I hear one more commentary about Vera being underweight I will vomit the tasty manju tearing at my belly. Vera weighs almost as much as Fedor or Crocop. Not everyone who can cut weight, has to cut weight. I assume that Vera's plan will be to use his impressive low, mid and high kicks to chop down the doofus tree that is Sylvia. Sylvia's people know this too. Arlovski was attempting this strategy in their uber-boring rematch until he apparently injured his leg. Vera is technically far better than Sylvia, but I will not sell big Tim's power short. He punches well. If Vera slips up he can be out, quick. Ask Andre from Belarus. Vera by 3rd round KO.

Rich Franklin Vs. Anderson Silva: I like Rich Franklin (his absurd advice to Matt Serra not withstanding). I like him as a person. I like how he trains. I like how he fights. Anderson Silva doesn't care about what I like. He is an out of control, born to fight, freak. You look at him and wonder how it is happening, but he punches like a truck and survives on the ground. People complain about his showing against Lutter, but they forget that Lutter's jiu-jitsu top game is world class. I love Silva's use of the body triangle and his lethal clinch. Franklin has never been a one punch KO power guy, even though he is physically bigger and stronger than Silva. He wears people down with well executed combinations. His ground game is solid and rough. All of my respect for Franklin can only help him survive the first. Silva by KO in the 2nd.

Tune for this cold, soggy day

Does every generation believe that it came up amongst the greatest music yet devised? Well, at least some of us did.

My Christmas Miracle

I set my alarm to wake up at 6:10 Wednesday morning. I woke up at 7am. I hate being late anywhere. I hate it. I missed so much school because I didn't want to turn up late. I was awash with panic. I decided not to shower, brushed my teeth, formulated a plan and went out the door. Instead of taking the subway to Sanjo and walking through Pontocho to Hankyu Kawaramachi, I grabbed my bike, hauled ass to Omiya and illegally sashed my bike. I caught the 7:14 train that I always get from it's origin further down the line at around 7:20 and still got a seat. Should I shift my strategy and move my whole game west, swearing off old Kyoto? It almost rivaled Mr. Brady being pulled from his collapsed building.

Didn't mean to back to back youtube but I happened on this. Thank you David Cross for somehow convincing people to listen to things that I say all the time to an audience of blank stares.

tune for the day

wanted to use this DJing once but it is impossibly slow.

English Edumucation

If every ALT pontificated upon education in Japan, a swamp like flow of verbal diarrhea would overcome our bilge. Nevertheless, being trapped at a desk and confronted with questions from real English teachers everyday leads one to oration.

Problem: When first year students come in they have a large wheelbarrow of English dumped in their laps and have no idea what to do with it. Over the next two years the wheelbarrow turns into a dumptruck. They are confronted with teachers of various talent levels possibly helping them sort through the mess.

Let me give you an example from the second year text book: Some people believe that when a language disappears that culture disappears also.

As much as I agree with the sentiment, what is a kid who can't manage the difference between "I" and "you" supposed to do with that? That sentence is part of a larger dialogue about Ainu culture. The book is made up of chapters much like that. The kids are expected to learn these dialogues. I believe this was from pressure on the government to increase knowledge of minority groups in Japan, which is all well and good, but what sense does it make when the students can't understand anything being said. The teachers, for the most part, struggle to understand the material, so everyone ends up memorizing words or sentences instead of trying to learn how to speak.

The kids never learn how to diagram a sentence. They don't know what a noun or a verb is. They don't know subject or predicate. They don't know what an object or an adjective is. This is not a plea for "back to basics' education, but to give the kids an underlying structure that they can fall back on when confronted with language they don't understand. Japanese speakers of English largest problem I have seen over the years is an inability to figure out what is the important information in a sentence and what can be put to the side. This is the most important skill in trying to get by in a foreign language, as you will never understand 100% of what is going on.

My solution would be to teach the first years: I am. And then add words on to the end of that and then expand to you and he/she. And so on. That way, when confronted with the example sentence above, they can think "Ok, I don't understand but I see 'people' and 'believe.' There are my subject and a verb." That's all they have to do.

Here is how the system is set up to fail. I am the only person in the school that can speak English. The school has three grade levels of six classes each. I have eighteen English classes, which I am split between. I go to classes like a break for them, like a treat. I have nothing to do with curriculum, or test preparation or anything of that sort. I wish they would give me one grade level for a year. Or even one class for a year. I would do 20 minutes of sentence diagrams and have them read Hop on Pop for the next twenty or so. (The kids can't read either.) Of course, outside of some private schools, foreigners can never be treated as real teachers. Some of that is reasonable. Most of the ALTs I have known aren't qualified to teach macaroni art at the senior center, but if the Japanese government were serious about education they could seek out capable foreigners and capable Japanese speakers for English. But that won't happen, because they aren't serious. Additionally, allowing non-Japanese to occupy actual, substantive role in their society is not going to happen anytime soon.

Couture vs. Gore

I keep feeling like I should comment on the co-incidence of the abrupt resignation of Randy Couture from the UFC and Al Gore being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. I feel very little though. I was never a Couture fan. I have nothing against him. Props. But he was never one of my favorite fighters and I don't think his departure is as major a blow to the sport as newcoming sportswriters (has our little Arash Markazi weighed in yet?) seem driven to make it out to be. Cro-cop's rapid decline is more of a story.

As for Al Gore. That is great. Wonderful. But we are still doing absolutely nothing and it is pretty late in the game. It is going to be bad before it gets a chance to get better. I don't think people understand how this will effect crops and increase the rate of desertification. People don't care. So I am glad that Al Gore cares. I am glad the the right wing is in a tizzy. I hope it amounts to something.

Radio Ragga

One of the great lost songs of our time. I wonder if Dave Smalley is still pretending to be a Republican. Unfortunate.

Ceviche

Prompted by Anthony Bourdain, I attempted to make my first ceviche last night. I went down to Nishitachi and got some octopus. I think I offended the fish lady. I made sure it was really fresh, as the recipes kept insisting it should be. It took so damned much lemon juice, 12 lemons. I spent too much money. I couldn't find any hot peppers. I used onions and Tobasco and some peppers. In the end it wasn't bad, but it was heavy on onion and light on protein. I think I might try something with shrimp and fruit next. I used the leftover lemon flavored onions on top of some pasta tonight and it was pretty okay. I consulted my personal nutritionist, Natsuki, who informed me that Japanese lemons aren't acidic enough to really make a ceviche. Oh well.

Happy Slappy

It was bound to happen. After years in the Japanese schools system I finally witnessed a slapping. I am not sure what I supposed my reaction would be but it turns out it is to do nothing and sit at my desk. I thought someone had just knocked over the printer, but then I noticed the student standing really straight and surprised. I don't really know the teacher, but he is kind of a doofus. I should point out that this is all the way across a very large office form my desk and directly in front of the vice-principal, whom I like very much. The douchebag teacher must have slapped the kid at least three times, hard across the face. For a second I thought it was Ogura from judo club who speaks very softly, except in class where he answers all of the questions and knows a lot about geography. In judo he just kind of shakes his head and remains sure that I am incapable of knowing or doing anything the right way. When I thought it was Ogura I was ready to bound across the room and tackle the guy. No one seemed to react. It was very odd. I would be interested in an explanation. I think it is only a comment on one's failure as a teacher. Although the teacher's role in Japan is essentially the moral upbringing of the child, which brings on new concerns. I would never slap a kid, but I think there are a few who need a physical confrontation to knock them of their bullshit go-kart. Anyway, that teacher will look nothing other than ridiculous to me from now on.

TUF

I finally got a chance to see a little bit of this seasons The Ultimate Fighter. Matt Serra, who I love, is coaching against Matt Hughes, who i find retarded. Pete Sell is coaching for team Serra. Sell has been one of my favorite fighters since his UFC debut against Phil Baroni, which is one of my highest rated fights of all time. Very underrated. The last to seasons of UFC has vindicated my affection. Last season he got drunk and proceeded to act like me when I am drunk. This season a fighter was complaining about being stuck on the show and wanting to leave the house. Let me see if I can render Sell's statement on the matter, keeping in mind his ridiculous Long Island accent. "You in a million dollar house where you can eat anything you want and I think about people in other countries and people who ain't go no home and you be 'look at me in my shackles and chains.'" Money, Pete Sell. Money.

secret photo rebellion

.

My friend Miho, the kimono enthusiast, invited me to a kimono exhibition. It had some beautiful kimono, which I would like to discuss in-depth here, but they didn't allow photography. One of the designers even took the time to explain how he made this very complicated design that looked like the front of a machiya and had complicated details embroidered into the fabric. He said it took him four months to make. There were some remarkable designs and some that were pretty crap. The fabrics were dyed.

Miho and Mayumi are boycotting my photography as I don't notify them that I am taking a picture and this flusters people. This was the first time I had seen Mayumi in clothes that were not yukata. We ate souffles, I thought mine taste a little heavily of egg, but...

Uniqlo

I have a migraine and it is threatening to get cold. I went to UNIQLO and got some pants a long sleeved shirt and a new hat as my winter clothes are still at Tatsuya's. Teramachi was packed with people anxious to bust out their fall clothes. But it is something other than cold. Something bordering on hot. Random Walk finally got the next installment of Master and Commander in. A band of two guys and two girls in yukata were walking around in a small parade. One of the girls was playing a drum and the other was playing a clarinet. They were prett good but I am sure it was just an add for something. This week at school is all test so a book should come in handy. My friend Miho is giving me a stack of unused blankets and futon from her house, so I am taking the subway to Yamashina tonight for the first time.

I am watching season three of The Sopranos and it is as good as people make it out to be. I have been eating nothing but Ritz crackers for the last month. I was trying to get around to saying something but i forgot what. Between Uniqlo and the dollar store I would like to say a big thank you to Chinese slave labor. Thank you Chinese slave labor.

Uchi Mata!

Today I Uchi Mata-ed a black belt. I did it the MMA way with one arm trapped in a whizzer. He was surprised as many Japanese people assume that you must know nothing that hasn't been taught to you in class. He said "Oh." And got back up.

Read Books

In the last little bit I read Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk, The Cider House Rules by John Irving, and The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco. Lullaby was good, but not a staggering work of genius. I read it during the course of a slow work day. Interesting. Not unsettling. The Cider House Rules was far better than I thought it would be. An immensely good book, and I feel weird about saying that because Irving is so popular, but novels are strange; sometimes popular and talent coincide. The Name of the Rose was the first book in a while that I had to stop and read back over the page I just read. It wasn't exactly mind blowing but it is very interesting and thought provoking(even if the thoughts weren't quite as deep as one would aspire too.) I am surprised that this book doesn't come up more here as we reach the intersections of science, religion, and torture; all of which The Name of the Rose meditates on. I seem to remember it being my grandmother's favorite book, but that might have just been the movie.

America!

Another reason America is the greatest country on the face of the earth.

Beatin' on the Children

Judo has been kicking my ass, but I am really enjoying it. Smacking around the chu gakkuseis. Here is a video of Yawara-chan, who is rad. The announcer says that her winning waza is osoto-gari, but I don't think it really is. I could be wrong. I try to score off of this version at least once every practice. I think I did today.

A New Hatred

I have a new magazine/newspaper writer to hate. I will put him onto the mantel next to the hopeless Arash Markazi (who likes to search his own name). A month or so ago this article was in the Japan Times. It is garbage. Not for confusing the facts, or missing the point, but for showing what a supreme lack of talent will result in when given room to run. Simon Bartz, if this article is "special to the Japan Times" I would hate to see what happens when they ask you to just crank something out real quick like. The only "special" this conjures involves the saying, "gets a check" if you know what I am mean. A bus of substandard length, if you will. Truly rotten.

Undo Kai

undo kai174, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

Last Saturday at Imaichi Chu the craziness that is an undo kai ensued. I was supposed to run in the relay. I stretched and got warmed up. I was stationed in front of the students. I got them all fired up for my running, even though I am slow and haven't run a relay since grade school. As Kita sensei (the rather hot home ec. lady who is 22 and recently told me she played sweeper on her junior high boys soccer team and tried to in high school until they made her quit) approached with the baton, I realized that she completely didn't notice me and ran right past me. I briefly considered running after her but thought better of it.

Earlier in the day, the teachers played a game versus the PTA in which we were supposed to roll a rugby ball down around a cone with a baseball bat. It was a team relay. Everyone would try to go slow and control the ball. But it is a rugby ball and it will bounce where it wants to. So I said, "Why don't we just nail it?" Everyone kind of thought I was joking. One of the old lady teachers had the turn before me. She ran back and collapsed on her face right in front of me., holding the bat up in the air. I asked if she was okay, took the bat, stepped to the side, pointed up in the air, and nailed the rugby ball. It traveled perfectly to the backside of the cone, bounced once and stopped. I ran down. Trapped with my foot and knocked the crap out of it. It spun perfectly back to the starting point and I ran back pointing at the student section and reveling in my heroism. Oh, undo kai.

I'm Alive

Here is some rainy day listening for you.
I am out of the guest house and into my own apartment.
It is small, but it is brand new and has a loft. The stove is electric and garbage and turns itself off whenever the water approaches a boil. The sliding glass door is frosted over so I can't see outside if it is shut. It already had a brand new washing machine, refrigerator, flat screen TV and internet. The internet won't let me download things peer 2 peer. Motherfucker. It is pretty nice. The view out of my window is of Nijo Station. It is a pretty rad area. A little removed, but... It is more like Japan and less Japanesey than Higashiyama. In any case, I should be able to post on the regular and receive mail again, so, dozo.

One more week

The police have confiscated my bicycle. I arrived back at Hankyu Kawaramachi on Wednesday and looked for it chained to the metal fence, next to the river, but it wasn't there. I was afraid it had been stolen so I scrounged around on the ground for clues and found a note saying that it had been hald to the bike pokey, far south of the city. I had a million errands to run and did them all on foot. By hoof as my Mimi might say. I was just warned against drinking the water here. A month too late. I need out. I need out. Everything I own, not much at this point, is all on Koji's balcony and I think he isn't happy about it. I need out. I have to journey to retrieve my bike at some point.

I Don't Know Why

But ever since I can remember I have hoped that there was a special place in the underworld for people who came into a room, insisted that it must be too dark for you and the, despite your protestations to the opposite, turned on the light ' for you.' One and a half more weeks.

Judo

I went to judo for the first time in a while. It was my first time with the gi. It was really fun. A little weird telling junior high students to teach me but, hey... When we finally got to randori (free wrestling? A Portugese import word) I kicked one black belt's ass. (I know he is 15, but he is also a black belt and out weighs me.) Then, the other black belt wrecked me. My spine feels like it is going to explode. But it was good.

The Doctor

I went to a dcotor who Tatsuya recommended last Friday. He is a sports medicine guy and worked on Ichiro. His English is quite good. It was one of those amazing trips to the doctor where they actually take your probloem seriously and tell you what is wrong and what you can do about it. He said that everyone who has ACL construction starts to experience some osteo arthritis after 10 years or so and that I need to try wearing insoles as the pressure is coming up the inside of my legs to the inside of my knees. That would have been a nice thing to learn a few years back. It always seemed that way to me. Anyway, it is a miracle I can go to the doctor at all. Suck on it America.

The insoles are working I think.

Watch Movies

This week I watched The French Connection and Seven Days of the Condor. The French COnnection is easily the better movie. Every shot in it is brilliant. By this I mean that if you isolated every shot in the movie and showed it as a photograph, it would be vey good. Not that that makes a good movie. If it did, Constantine would be one of my favorites. It also features excellent performances by everyone involved, especially Hackman. Watch it. Watch it again. Watch it with the William Friedkin narration about what really transpired. In every way a great movie. Three Days of the Condor is cool as a Seventies spy flick but.... kind of hard to look at. Like the Seventies.

read books

This week I went to Random Walk to get the next book in the Master and Commander series, which I am hopelessly addicted to, but it wasn't there. Egads, as my grandmother would say. So I bought Until I Find You by John Irving. I had been meaning to read it since I heard him talk about it on Terry Gross years ago. Irving is a tricky writer. He doesn't really strike you as brilliant, but then you realize you have read an 839 page book in less than a week and have been incredibly moved. Not shaken up and changed as Faulkner or maybe Irving Welsh can do, but moved none the less. It is really a good book; tattoos, wrestling and tawdry sex, so really, right in my strike zone.

Back to Random Walk last night, still no Master and Commander so I got some Patricia Highsmith.

Trapped in the Guest House: With Roaches!!!

I have one and a half more weeks here, which means almost zero posting and more roach battles. One emerged from my tuna fish the other night. One dropped from the ceiling as I was cooking macaroni and cheese. A little paratrooper. A girl I don't know yelled and we killed it together. Very romantic. I have started running my air conditioner full blast because they made the room next to mine the lounge and I have to listen to people talk about nothing until 3 in the morning. They say they will charge me for two much power use but.... I kill their roaches.

choices

DSCF4627, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

kinda happy the big kid went with the speedo. takes courage.

Arisa in the Relay

Arisa in the Relay, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

Arisa is in the running for my favorite student ever. She is super cool and speaks to me like a human being. She also isn't scared to talk in class and try things that are difficult. Some other girls don't like her because she has confidence. Go Arisa, Go!

sakura is on to me

sakura is on to me, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

student body president and winner of most japanese name ever contest: Sakura Fuji

is this illegal? these kids are in junior high.

Suiei Taikai

DSCF4523, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

Last Wednesday was the 三国中　swimming　tournament. Fun was had by all. Poor chillens.

Ed and Shoko

DSCF4434, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

These knuckleheads are getting married on the 21st. The paperwork part anyway. They wanted their special day to coincide with my dad's birthday. Crazy kids. The wedding will be in April and they better invite a butt-load of JAL stewardesses.

imprisoned in the guest house

I am here until october 4th. I am paying 100 yen to use the computer for 60 minutes. I am surrounded by Germans. The washing machine growls like a crocodile. Today I overslept by an hour and was 20 minutes late for work. I am seldom late for work. This place wouldn't be so bad if I were on vacation. But I ain't. Today I noticed one really hot girl and one super-cute girl had moved in. Somehow that makes living here worse. Does that make sense. Now their are a bunch of foreigners too. It was just me and the crazy people who might be Korean who chant and then collapse. I want to wear a hat that says "I'm workin here."

I went to Cafe Du Monde in Kyoto Eki last night. Yes. That sentence was correct. It is so weird. It has this fake lattice work with New Orelans street sings. It closes at ten. The last time I was at Cafe Du Monde-the real one-it was the morning after Christmas with Mom and Tommy. The one here has paper cups. Fucking fakers. If it isn't anytime of day and you aren't dodging bird shit.....plus the waiters aren't Vienamses. And this is Asia.

Dekichyata

Satoko, the ridiculously hot hip-hop dancer who buys me coffee to speak English with her, told me that she is getting married in November. I assume this means that she is 'in a family way.' Probably a bad reason to get married. She is from a very wealthy Kyoto obi manufacturing family. I see much philandering and malcontenment in her future. Not that I wish it on her, but this is Japan...really.

I will post Ed's engagement party pictures and videos when I get a computer I can do it from.

That's right; Ed's engaged.

Books

I finsihed Papillion on the way up. It is a good read. Disappointing in that it is not true. Well written for an escaped convict, not for a literary con-man. I enjoyed that their main concerns throughout were cigarettes and coffee. I feel less ashamed of my petty hungers.

Tearing through the Patrick O'Brian Master and Commander series. I couldn't recommend it any more highly. It gets better and better. Writing wise the man is on par with any of the big guns, Pynchon included. He is a fiend and an amazing read. 16 more books to go.

Mom's Surgery

Yesterday my mom had knee surgery. To get my revenge I left her in bed at home and moved to Japan. Take that!

A Guest House in Kyoto

Boy am I moving up in the world.　I live in a small room in a guesthouse in Kyoto. To make matters worse it is south of Shichijo while I am of the opinion that anything south of Shijo isn't really Kyoto. That being said, it is only for the month. I went to look at my new apartment, which is still under construction, and it is rad. The location is anyway. It is directly behind Nijo Station. Not as close to the river as I would like, but...

I just got mail from Mellani, who I used to work with at Friend's (the worst fucking) International Preschool (in the world.) She said her doctor made her quit and gave her a letter for the evil Yukari saying she had to leave for health reasons.

The guesthouse now is full of craziness. There is a woman in the room next to me (who is eating lunch next to me as we speak) who won't talk to me but was yesterday chanting empatically until she would collapse in a fit of coughing and then begin again. There was a huge rainstorm outside and she would raise her tone and go up an octave and then i would hear a cough and some banging around. I started laughing　to myself and saying, "She's exploded." The highlight of my day was that "S.W.A.T." came on TV in dubbed over Japanese. It is hot. I smell all of the time and I have one pair of pants because Koji is on a business trip and I can't get to my stuff. I am also being stung by mosquitos. It could be worse. I am not broke. Unfortunately I realized that all of my freinds (well most) are girls, so I don't really have anyone to just go hang out with. Girls require you to do stuff.

It is 900 degrees and I wake upt o bells from the temple next door. Yesterday monks were pacing around outside singing.

Far Less Than Meets the Eye

I got talked into seeing Transformers the other night. My friend Emma from the radio station wanted to go. I didn' care, but I like going to the movies, and I hadn't seen Emma in a while. In the current context of our ongoing disaster in Iraq, I found the movie borderline offensive. It begins in the Middle East with c-130s and A-10s and Blackhawks working with special forces teams to fight off-----------------robots from outer space. We would like that wouldn't we. Makes it easier. But we aren't fighting robots and all of our beautiful miltary equipment is useless. Anytime we get told about "liberal Hollywood" think about this garbage. It conditions your mind to think that if, somehow, w can figure out what round to load, we can fight off the enemy. Apparently people who like this movie applaud the way it sticks to the story in the original movie. Who cares? The original was a garbage kid movie too. Nothing that happens makes any sense. Nothing. Michael Bay is truly the worst director in the world. I have about $100 left in the world and this joker gets hundreds of millions to tkae a giant, digital poop on all of us. Ha Ha..funny society you came up with. The chick is hot though. The joke is, she has sex with Brian Austin Green. Nice world there God.

An Indelicate Question

I think I have hit my limit of being able to care about the Michael Vick situation. Let me ask something. I haven't eaten meat(on purpose) since I was in junior high. I don't have any problem with people who hunt or farm and can slaughter their own meat. I have a big problem with a factory system that seperates us all from the work, the killing necessary to give us our gluttony. Don't get me wrong, I am a glutton. I understand that Vick's slaughter of animals seems fairly useless and cruel, but isn't killing a pig so you can have a sandwich which you will throw half of away just as wastefull and disrespectful of life? I am finding people's outrage more and more disingeneous when most people have zero problems with the circus, rodeo or marine parks where dolphins are kept in concrete tubs. Is it because he killed dogs? Dogs are special to Americans, certainly. We destroy animal habitat by the millions of acre a year though. We allow pigs, chickens and cows to be not only slaughtered but grossly distorted by hormones and treated like garbage. If this kind of thing bothers you you are generally regarded as a fruit loop, if not a poof. I guess Michael Vick should have just eatne a hamburger, bet on what was in it and shut the fuck up like the rest of America.

Rebel Forces

I have been crashing at Tomo's. Dodging from house to house like the resistence. I am still maintainging a massive surfing beard and a suntan. Surfing has been good, if small, everyday. For a year or so there I wasn't enjoying it much. I think it had to do with Kumar being gone and sufing being something I usually did with him. I think I have made a lot of progress this month and actually feel better than a lot of people. As far as better goes. More capable may be more accurate. Engaged in a massive game of Scrabble with James and Cameron. Never play Scrabble with a Scotsman. Cam always makes words with no vowels and then insists that they are a word for a fog that moves in over Scotland on fall mornings. Scrabble has some serious flaws in its lack of reward for creativity and elegance. Much like life. Oh. Saw that one coming. Tomo's house has a Mac which for some reason doesn't like this site. Sorry for the infrequency. Also, I signed up to MIXI. It is like the Japanese MySpace...I guess. I am sure I will lose interest in a month or so. Good Japanese practice though. Today I was attacked by praying mantises.

Bush and Vietnam

I saw a bit of Bush`s speech comparing Vietnam and Iraq. I suppose they are calculating his audience to be those with no desire to understand history accurately. If so, a veterans group was probably the right place. No offense, but I gre up around those people and they seldom　reality to obstruct a good storyline. It is necessary to understand two major points in any discussion about Vietnam. 1: Ho Chi Minh appealed to the U.S. for help in his countires quest for independence. The U.S. turned him　down in favor of French colonial rule and in support of colonial rule in general. 2: The country was divided into North and South in anticipation of an election that would decide control of the country. When it became clear that Ho`s side would win, the U.S. put a stop to the election. Considering just these two factors, arguing that the U.S. pullout was what caused chaos is absurd. Is the President`s new position that we shouldn`t have left Vietnam? If so, shouldn`t we go back and look at the card he filled out saying he wouldn`t serve there? I guess they are just playing to a very small segment who belive that we were stopped from winning Vietnam by weak-willed ninnies so they can get on with constructing a similar myth around they own failings in Iraq. Neither war was viable to start with and therefore have no viable solutions for calm endings. Iraq will end in chaos and violence because there is no military solution available. People said that before it started and no one wanted to listen. No that line of reasoning needs to be extinguished so that the U.S. foreign policy apparatus can`t learn from its mistake. Gonzaga will take Couture.

a tsunami is coming

a tsunami is coming, originally uploaded by wwc photos.

We arrived at Tenjikan, after leaving Tomo at Hotel Mae, to find a sign reading, "A Tsunami is Coming." Wow. We went around the parking lot asking people. There were people in the surf. Cam checked NHK on his keitai. It was the earthquake in Peru. The tsunami was estimated at 20cm and had already past. It felt bad laughing at the sign, knowing that a death toll would come rolling in later. But I can now say I surfed a tsunami. In the background you can see the crazy observation building carved into a large rock. The seat on top are for watching the rocket launches as this is the home base for the Japan Space Agency.

Japanese Medicine

I was at an orientation for work where a European guy laughed about how bad the Japanese medical system was. He is an asshole. Not really, but if you are not an American, it is hard to understand what an amazing thing it is to walk into a medical clinic, say what is wrong and be treated. That's it. I have been to the hospital three times this week, after injuring my knee surfing. The total cost has been about $30. That includes two X-rays, two injections and three laser treatments. It is amazing what the American public will allow to be denied to them.

Tanegashima

The Tanegashima photos are up. You can see the Tsunami warning sign, a crab, three barebecues, 900 pictures of Fumiko who always seems to cover her face and then say, "Take it again." So that it ends up looking like I wanted to take so many pictures of her. No offense, but no. You can see the overhead waves at Tenjikan and the double overhead at Hotel Mae. Although the double overhead just shows up as a bunch of whitewater.

For James

Everytime I go surfing a get a song stuck in my head. It had been "The Bridge is Over." Then me and James got started on "Afternoon Delight" which has to be one of the most disgusting songs ever written.

Politics for David

I returned from the island to find that Karl Rove is being put to pasture, or set to stud. I have only seen a small sampling of main stream commentary on the subject but it is clear enough all ready that the guy has gotten a free pass for far to long. The media is composed of people who are just ignorant enough to remain solidly in the gushy embrace of the status quo for the amount of time required to place them in their booster chairs and shove them up to the table. The group who will willingly promote the latest Avril Lavigne album will tell you that Karl Rove is a genius. Not merely someone who was willing to go lower and play stupider. Republicans win because being stupid is easier. That is the long and short of it. The fact that no one can come out and say this is indicative of the problem. Karl Rove didn't win because he was a genius, he won by being procisely the opposite: stupid. Can you think of an intelligent policy he planned? Even one that failed. He is a moron and the fact that he is puts him in tune with morons around the country who vote in great numbers. They swarm together like sea roaches on rocks in the water; because they don't know anywhere else to go. A genius would lead. A genius would realize that being crass to maintain power doesn't benefit hummanity in the long, or the short run. A genius would step outside of themselves and ask what was right. Karl Rove did none of those things, and never will. I think the Braves will battle to the end in the standings. Go Chipper.

The Toppy

The linear time is going to get weird from here on out. I will try to go back through the week in Tanegashima. But not all at once. James, Alex, Cam and I took the train down early two Sunday's ago. Alex and Cam brought their kettle so that they could have tea. My surfboard blocked off about two doors between the train cars. We took the Toppy, a high-speed hydrofoil, from Kagoshima to Tanegashima. The last time Cam took it, it crashed into a whale, or a North Korean sub, or something, at 78kph resulting in numerous injuries and an award for Cam's first-aidary. The dock smelled like evry dock I have ever been around. It always make me feel like vomiting a sandwich I haven't eaten. The engines sound like rockets and the ue the space in front of the emergency exit to store our boards. A typhoon was passing from Taiwan to China. We headed south through the relative calm of Kinko Wan to the point where the Pacific Ocean meets the Sea of Japan. In the distance I noticed giant, crytal blue waves errupting like a nightmare compilation of lgihthouse posters. I mentioned them to Alex and assumed there was no way we would confront them. As we approached them at 70kph the whole boat began to take notice. It seemed like we all started screaming in unison. James suddenly woke up and pulled back the curtain. The captain rolled the hydrofoil hard to the left, making the view from the oppsing windows sea and sky. The TV was playing a broadcast of the Koshien High School Baseball Tournament, in which the end of each game is announced with a loud, screeching siren. It began to go off as the captian through the boat back hard to the right as waves roared up and crashed around us. I have never seen any waves like this in my life, not even in The Pass during a hurricane. I screamed like a little girl trapped in a hydrofoil, flying madly to its doom. Fortunately this only lasted for a few minutes as we cleared into open seas and set off towards Tanegashima.

Back From Tanegashima

I spent the week surfing on Tanegashima, an island in the Pacific just south of Kagoshima. I have way to much to tell in one post so will try to break it up and post some pictures soon as well. Several points: I have rad friends. Cameron compells people to spend way too much money. We have the power to make cool shit happen wherever we go. People who live normal lives are ridiculous. I am poor again. I was in the hospital this morning. Natsuki is rad. You can barbecue every day for really cheap. Never show Chappelle's show to British people, it's not that they won't find it funny, it will just be for all of the wrong reasons. I am brown. Snorkeling is something you should get excited about. Seasnakes are strangely hypnotic. Natsuki is way beyond rad. Tomoko, who runs Narai, is the nicest lady on earth. I will stop trying to explain surfing to people who don't do it. British people consume way too much beer and tea and will somehow convice you should play along. Be careful when you just leave Itunes running and do something else, because things get weird. I have a big surf beard like Pat Curren. Na-Tsu-Ki! Stay at Narai. Snorkle at Urata. Surf Tenjikan. The Toppy can be terrifying.

Fighting

I went back to fighting class for the first time in four months last night. My ass was roundly kicked. Some new kid squeezed my face until my jaw hurt. I have been surfing every day and feel in reasonably good shape...but...no. Since I have been gone, Danny went to the Fukuoka tournament and won the whole thing. I used to do ok sparring with him. Here is what I have to deal with.

Fuck Barry Bonds

This is like the Alberto Gonzales Hearings for me. Do we have to pretend that we don't know Bonds used HGH-at least-??? I think there are arguments to be made for why steroids are OK. I think Joe Rogan, strangely enough, made a very convincing argument that they might have their place in competitive sports. What some people don't seem to get about baseball is that it is a competition against the past. Of course things change. We have creatine and training staffs and no long train trips. The only thing I can't get around is what a slap in the face to the nobility of Hank Aaron and what he had to endure to break Babe Ruth's record. Barry Bonds, always a jealous little brat, couldn't stand to retire as mearely one of the best players to ever play the game. He had to take over. He has always been rotten, now he is even more so. Do i think there is a racial component to the hatred directed at Bonds? I think there is a racial component to everything in America. Do I think he is even close to being a decent human being? No. Many athletes flaws have made them compelling figures-George Best, Mickey Mantle, Ty Cobb(just plain rotten), Ali, Tyson, Babe Ruth-But Bonds is something other than flawed, he is deliberate and coniving and immature. I find him spoiled and his story decidedly uncompeling. I well up with tears everytime I see Aaron hugging his mom at home plate because I can understand what it meant for him. I feel nothing for Barry Bonds.

America is Better

As an American overseas you have to listen to a lot of bullshit from Europeans who are so dead certain how backwards life must be in the colonies. While Demarcus Beasely was busy scoring a 20 yard goal for Rangers this week, he had to endure a section of fans making monkey noises. Can you imagine that happening at a pro game in America? I tried to think of all the random comments I have heard at sporting events in the South and even the worse ones, whispered under someone's breath, weren't this base and immature. For the most part I am proud of America's sporting culture when but against the mindless tribalism of European football. I hope Demarcus files a complaint and gets the fans banned from the next home game.

Wakayama Dolphin Hunts

If you have never heard about the dolphin hunts in Taiji, they are sick. Fisherman use boats to run dolphins and pilot whales into small coves and then spea and beat them to death. The water turns to blood. Several organizations have tried to stop this, but there is really no public awareness of this inside Japan. Even seemingly reasonable Japanese people will roll out every kind of excuse for this inexcusable behavior. Japan is a special country and a little island. It isn't big and strong like the rest of the world and it has to provide for its people. Fishermen are special. You just wouldn't understand. Now, to brave councilmen from Taiji have come out and said that they have had the meat from these dolphins, which is routinely served to school children in their lunches, tested. It is full of dangerous levels of mercury. The government's response: "............" Read the Japan Times article here. While I don't believe in the death penalty, some people need to get deaded up real good. Anyone involved in this bullshit goes to the top of the list.

Finally Used the Hammock/Partied with the Nemesis

We went surfing all day yesterday. Nothing has changed at Kisaki except for the faces. It is a new group hanging around the tables and they have looks of pride on their faces like they discovered the beach. Whatever. Miles was still there. The nemesis, deciding he is now a surfer, poses as king of the parking lot. Chris Miyoko showed up and I surfed with Alex Moss for the first time. That was rad. It was Sunday so Kisaki was crowed. I had a lot of really decent waves. As I drifted farther up the beach I got into major asshole territory. There was one Japanese guy-there always seems to be- that paddles from as far away as possible and tried to snake every wave. If he makes it, he will take off on your face, if he doesn't he looks at you like you shiit on his house. I yelled, "Take it then motherfucker." At him at some point, but I am not sure if he cared. I was ahppy to find out that everyone had run into him that day, so I wasn't imagining it. Cam, newly single, wanted to stay at the beach and test his freedom so I busted out the hammock and slept in the woods. It started storming so I pulled my giant Postal Service shipping bag over my head and went back to sleep. The nemesis danced aound the parking lot playing terrible techno music on his van stereo for the better part of the night. I woke up at dawn and found that he had left all his trash and stolen all of our beer. Ass. Alex and I got into the ocean at about 5:30 and the line-up was crowded by 6am. We sufed for two hours and then gave it up do to overcrowding. I have a blister on my thumb from playing a guitar that is out of tune and missing strings. Alex and I worked out that every reggae song is the same so we would play and sing different ones at the same time and you couldn't really tell the difference. I came back to Cam's and slept all day. Didn't go for the evening surf and was called a "poof." I had to remind cam that he was the one sleeping on the futon in the back of his van while I was in for two hours this morning. Nevertheless, I would rather be at the beach. Still broke. A week until payday.

The Pop-Up

An element of my surf game that is really struggling is the pop-up. This is the most important element of your take-off as it decides how your whole ride is going to go. For some reason I got in the bad habit of grabbing the rails and draging my knees across the board. A lot of this is because I would surf for a while and get tired, and I was riding smaller waves that didn't make me pay for a bad take-off. I am really going to try and concentrate on correcting this problem this week before we leave for Tanegashima.

Back on Miyazaki Time

Spent Monday night scattering any usable garbage I had around bridges with a homeless population. I took my washing machine and ran through a bad neighborhood with it, finally dropping it in a housing project courtyard. My apartment was spotless for the final inspection. As I was putting my luggage together in the bicycle room, the boss man cam back in looking troubled. The 31st was apparently garbage inspection day. They had discovered my pile. I had slept on my futon and then thrown it out. They asked if it was mine and I told them no. He kept saying, "But it is in the same bags as your trash." "I know. They are trash bags." I slinked further and further towards the main street and I was off. Homeless and penniless yet again. I rode to Koji's and organized my stuff on his balcony. He told me the typhoon was coming faster then expected so I better catch the ferry that night. I was off. Slept like death in my ferry bunk for 12 hours. Cam picked me up at the port wearing nothing but shorts and blaring, "The Boys are Back in Town." Classic. We met up with Alex and Tomo and James at Kisaki and surfed the pre-typhoon surf for about 3 hours. I went back to James's place and watched the Soprano's, turned around and went back out for another surf at Aoshima. The waves were getting fairly big. 2 meters probably. I was able to catch about every wave I went for all day. Surprising. It got dark while we were still surfing and I caught a massive wave in all the way to the beach.

The next day the typhoon showed up. So did Angela. The three of us stayed in James's (actually Chad's) tiny apartment all day watching movies, eating chips and drinking tea-Angela is from Manchester-. That night we got beer and Damian and Cam stopped by. We drank and played guitar and pretended we were in college. I did a 30 minute version of 'The Aristocrats' involving a small girl holding a rose while being rammed inside the corpse of a gorilla. I think I firghtened people.

The day after the typhoon was strangely rainy and we headed south to surf at Miyaura. The swells were big, somewhat powerfull, and not very rideable.

Last night was my welcome back party. We went to Yamato's new restaurant and drank beer. Lots of beer. Yamato gave me a hug and was very nice. I didn't want to go to Kobi's afterwards but we had to meet some people. I hate that place. I really hate the vibe. I went home feeling bitter and got a flat tire for my effort.

Today is the fireworks. I am not going with Shiho. Of course. At least she mailed to confirm we would not be going. I am going with Cam and Yukiko and that should be just fine.

Miyazaki is Miyazai and it is wonderful. I advise everyone to make friends and keep them. Friends are rad. I think we have talked about Kumar at least 900 times in three days. We all really miss him a lot. It sucks that he won't be there to yell, "Tamaya!" at the fireworks tonight. I will do one for him, but it won't be as charming or well recieved.

I surfed today but the waves were small. I got sun on my back. I need to surf in the morning and get sun on my front. Must get in shape for Tanegashima. I'll try to get it together and post Miyazaki pictures soon. Just letting everyone know I am alive. (If typing this on a 7 year old Gateway computer counts as 'alive'.)