Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Tales of a Beard

It is very cold so I have grown a big, raggedy beard. It wasn't on purpose at first. When you grow a beard small things change in your life. People react to you different. People get excited about your beard. Or, they get intimidated by it.

The principal came up to me yesterday morning. "Oh! Che Guevara." He laughed in Japanese. "Why don't you drop by my office later and talk to me about the revolution." Score one for you old man.

I went to the travel agents yesterday. I am going to Korea next month and had found a ticket for $160. (I will pretend we are talking in dollars.) The office was hot and boring and I started sweating and everything was too small and I was knocking into things and looking angry. They kept referring me to the supervisor of English who I kept speaking to in Japanese.
"Can you pay a deposit?"
"How much?"
"Is $100 okay." He kept motioning down with his hands like he was trying to talk the gun out of my hands.
"The ticket will be $360." He told me.
"No. I don't think so." I declared.
"Did you not expect the taxes?"
"I expected the taxes, but this is way too much."
He stood up crouching, maintain the same height while backing away. "How much could you pay?"
"Maybe $300." I didn't want to pay that much.
He came back, sweating and stooped. "Okay. $240."
"Great." I struggled to stay scowling. How could he reduce a price by that much?
"Here are some fliers, please hand them out to your foreign friends who can't speak Japanese."
"All of my foreign friends speak Japanese," I said, handing them back. "Sorry."

I think I got the "Looks Crazy" Rebate. Sweet.


Tonys_fake_macho_internet_persona said...

I wish I knew how to laugh in Japanese.

wwc said...

It's complicated Tony. It involves an iron lung and a real mustache, as well as paste and some kite string. Sorry.

Tonys_fake_macho_internet_persona said...

Define "real" and at what point does the iron lung come into play? You don't give me enough credit, Wes.

wwc said...

Tony, I believe that the question you meant to ask was, "When doesn't the iron lung come into play?"
As if I had credit to confer.
Hang in there.

Ben said...

maybe you got the IS CRAZY rebate, son.


attempting to silence the voices in my head.