Saturday, January 2, 2010

Japanese Songs of the Decade: Dishonourable Mention

There is a lot of doo-doo in the Japan music pool. Let's scoop some out.

Catch the Wave- Def Tech

Possibly the worst song I have every heard. Japanese people ate this shit up. They played this at a bar and Miyazaki last week and people were dancing around. When I say how much I hate it, I usually get treated to "But one of them is white." Or "Surfers love them." Both of which also apply to cocaine and toilet paper. Fuck their bullshit. I mean "Ja-waian Reggae."

Around the World- Monkey Majik

Figure out why I hate this shit. Two Canadian brothers figure out how to make music scamming the Japanese public. I must like them...I am white.

Butterfly- Koda Kumi

Stop influencing my students. Stop telling women over 30 that their ovaries are rotten. Go away. On a personal level, Hey Ms. Koda. How you doin?

Ai Uta- Greeeen

If you understood how many times I have heard this goddamned song. Ahhhhh!

Sekai ni Hitotsu no Hana- Smap

I had to listen to this mother f'r about 900 times. As my friend Tatsuya said, "What a load of shit. Stop telling Japanese children that. It isn't okay to want to lose. No one wants to feel okay being a loser." It was an epic Tatsuya explosion. So for that....F You Smapu!

Japanese Dancehall Reggae- In General

Shanghai Honey- Orange Range

I'll never get it.

Heartsdales- Whatever

Make it stop. They grew up in NY by the way so there is really no excuse.

This list is making my brain hurt. I will stop now.


The Morholt said...

Mostly dreadful, though thats what i think about 90% of the pop/rock genre. As for it being okay to make kids think its okay to be a loser, don't get me started on how fucked up and destructive i think the whole jock winner/loser metaphor for life is and how much kids (especially japanese kids) need more pressure to be "Winners" so that that they Win!
That said, good post. I always prefer a worst of list to a best of list cause i find more common ground with folks there. because i'm a loser.

The Morholt said...

I think Catch the Wave might be in my 10 worst of all time category. Not just lame, not just awful, but criminally, offensively awful at every level

wwc said...

Thank you for recognizing its true awfulness. The honkey in the band's father is distinguished linguist JD Brown.

Edo said...

I'm going to nominate Dabo's song Lexus Gucci as a representative of all bad Japanese hip-hop that is just an imitation of bad American hip-hop.

It's worth mentioning that Dabo apparently doesn't actually have a drivers license. Whoops!

wwc said...

I forgot about Dabo. That is really terrible. David, I am glad you can feel the true shit that is Def Tech.

Anonymous said...

You have to express more your opinion to attract more readers, because just a video or plain text without any personal approach is not that valuable. But it is just form my point of view

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