Wednesday, June 9, 2010

My 5 Favorite Types of Goals

With the World Cup upon us, there are many subjects I would like to tackle (all ball, of course) but I am being outdone on many different fronts. Again, I must recommend The Shin Guardian as the absolute best blog out there right now. Their review of England vs. USA tactics is light years beyond anything that CNNSI or ESPN, both of which I am a fan of, are even considering right now.

There are a lot of lists out there of best goals floating around out there. I want to do a little different take on that theme. I want to present my 5 Favorite Types of Goals. We can call them out when they show up in the WC. You can also tell me why I am wrong and which kinds you prefer. No one ever really takes me up on this kind of participation however.

Let's begin from my favorite at #1

#1 Balls Out Counter Attack

Is it any coincidence that this is the kind of goal that my beloved USMNT specializes in? Probably. Why is this my favorite? I think because the kind of soccer that I prefer is all-out effort soccer. Trying to play defense and get numbers and then burn. It also requires good passing, but not subtle passing. Also, watching live, it takes a few seconds to transpire and builds up to a will it happen or won't it moment. Lovely.

#2 Long Range Bomb

Do I even have to qualify this? Who doesn't like this stuff. I worry that maybe it is a little to American, like always wanting fireworks after the home run. Yet, in baseball I prefer the well laid bunt. No, I think shots like this are wonderful because they require rare ability and sick confidence. "Here I am 25 yard out with a few guys in front of me and the keeper in the goal. Why wouldn't I shoot?" Lovely.

#3 WTF!?

"Now, that is just a long range bomb," you might protest. But, no. You would be wrong. It is just that these kinds of goals generally have to take place at distance as there is no real room for them to happen in the box. Too many dudes to spoil the funk. Excessive taint of normalcy. Plus, they aren't bombs. They were just goals taken by guys who are sure that the rules of the universe are optional and for who "I just thought I'd give it a try" is a creed. Good on you fellows. Lovely.

#4 Miserable Failure Own Goals

Who doesn't love them? Remind me to tell you about mine some day. Not my fault. Jeff Agoos? All his fault. Lovely.

#5 Chilavert!!!!!

Who didn't love this complete bad-ass straight outta Paraguay. Sadly he is retired from the world of football but he graced it for long enough to leave us spell-bound. Take that every other keeper ever! Lovely.


Caitlin said...

Okay, I'll participate, but you rarely argue back so it doesn't seem worth it. I'm going to go with the 5 you picked in my order because they are rather specific titles that you made.
1. WTF?
I don't understand how this couldn't be your first. A true WTF goal is the goal that everyone is talking about. This is the goal you kick yourself for taking a bathroom break during. Even with the replays, this is the goal you have to see at the same time as everyone else. It's that one unbelievable moment that makes an entire game.
2. Long Range Bomb
Like number 1, it is always amazing when it works. Beckham's usually good with these. It's like the full court shot in basketball, it feels like a real "edge-of-your-seat-hold-your-breath-moment". Just waiting to see if it will go in.
3. Balls Out Counter Attack
Davies and Donovan, I see this from them. Not much else to say.
4. Miserable Failure Own Goals
These could be number 3. I'm not sure. These are really fun to watch, especially the last one in the video with Chris Brass, if they aren't your team. If it's your team, it's, well, miserable.
5. Chilavert
I'm young, I don't remember much of him playing. I remember him going to jail. I liked the video though, and the song (Song 2 by Blur) is a good one. My old theme song, if you will.

wwc said...

Thanks Caitlin...I meant you could rank your own. But thanks for ranking mine. See, I do answer back.

Caitlin said...

You did indeed. I'm very pleased. I suppose I could rank my own, that will require me to find and name my own so you're going to have to wait for it.

attempting to silence the voices in my head.