Tuesday, December 30, 2008

K-1 DY-no-Mite!!!!!!!!!!

Did I lust after the last UFC as much as I drool for this? Probably. Was I disappointed like the Christmas when my sister got a stereo and I got a screwdriver? Probably. Will that stop me from bouncing off the walls until tomorrow night? No. No. And no. Will the fact that no one who reads this will be able to watch K-1, besides Ed, stop me from writing a preview? Was the Pope a Nazi in his youth!!!

I am cutting out all the K-1 Koshien fights, because I don't follow 15 year-olds.

Minowaman vs. Zimmerman: Seeing Minowman live last year made me go from unyielding hate to unrepentant affection. He warmed up a cold crowd. Still, he is low on real talent, especially striking and he gets kicked around in this one. Zimmerman. TKO. 2nd.

Sato vs. Kyshenko: Toss up. Kyshenko by toughness.

Tokoro vs. Nakamura: Oh, Tokoro! How I do love the. The scrappy floor scrubber. He bathes in his sink and kicks ass by night. If you had never seen a fight, I would show you Tokoro. I loves him. Tokoro by leg-lock at the end of the 1st.

Sakaguchi vs. Ologun: I don't really care. Yet, Bobby's little brother is actually rather talented. Ologun, decision.

Sapp vs. Kinniku Man: Fight's a joke. Kinniku Man is being played by an actual wrestler. He takes Bob down and beats him up. TKO in the 2nd. Unless Bob Sapp has some residual talent and drops a hammer fist from the sky....

Schilt vs. Mighty Mo: Nobody is really giving Mo a chance. I see Schilt winning too, especially since it is a MMA bout. However, a big Mo hook can take anybody out. I see Schilt getting a late TKO from being a giant.

Sakurai vs. Shibata: If Sakurai still cares about fighting, he walks through Shibata with a KO in the 1st. Too much talent.

Kawajiri vs. Takeda: An MMA fighter fighting a muay thai fighter under K-1 rules. Takeda is a little old. Kawajiri is on a roll and has great stand-up. Kawajiri by KO in the 2nd.

Overeen vs. Hari: Hari is a headcase. Despite his horrible conduct I love watching him fight. I think he is the best straight-up kickboxer going. I think he is enough of a headcase that his recent troubles don't even phase him and he goes right back to work. If it were MMA I would not hesitate t go with Overeem, but it isn't. If Overeem can get the clinch, he wins. I think Hari is too big and strong for that. Hari by KO in the 2nd.

Cro-Cop vs. Choi: Choi had a brain tumor removed. Cro-Cop fights like he has a brain tumor. Cro-Cop from 2 years ago was a human wrecking ball. Cro-Cop now? Choi ever? Cro-Cop cuts down his front leg and Kos Choi in the 2nd.

Mousasi vs. Musashi: I get it! Their names are the same in Japanese. I want to name my kid Musashi. Plus he is from Osaka and good. Mousasi is this year's MMA revelation. This is a K-1 fight. Musashi by decision from K-1 experience. It will be a sweet fight though.

Hunt vs. Lebanner: MMA rules? Are you kidding me? Sweet ass. Hunt is one of my favorite fighters of all time. He weighs 300 pounds and has a head made of wrought iron. Took Cro-Cop kicks like they were Nerf balls. Hunt wins by Atomic Butt Drop. Whenever.

Aoki vs. Alvarez: Call Donkey Kong suckas, 'cause it is most definitely on. If you grapple, it is very hard to not pull for Aoki. He is to submissions what Jesus was to Nazereth...Pennsylvania. That being said, who is more on fire than Alvarez? What a great fighter. While Aoki's sub ability is out of control, he has always been a bit fragile. Reality called and told me that Alvarez will out wrestle Aoki and the beat him silly. My personal reality sees Aoki taking the back and strangling the muhfuh. Reality via reality.

Hansen vs. Cavalcante: Hansesn is one of my all time faves. His striking is good. His head is steel. His heritiage is Norwegian. What is really impressive is his ability to get back to guard, no matter the circumstances. Cavalcante is like a small tank. Or the Batmobile. He is a talented brickhouse, who just keeps coming. I don't know with this. I will say Hansen by decision, but it could go a myriad of ways. It will be a great fight.

Sakuraba vs. Tamura: Bad blood that somebody forgot to put in the fridge. Fights that would have been great 5 years ago. I actually shed tears seeing Sakuraba in person last year. He is in my top 5 of all time and is truly, truly one of the best ever. Tamura is also a legend in the sport. This is really a battle of who is more damaged. The answer is Sakuraba, but he is also more talented. If Tamura can punch Sakuraba really hard in the face, then he can win. If Sakuraba can get on top of Tamura on the ground, he can wrench his shoulder off. I go for Sakuraba by destiny. Watch for Tamura's sick leg kicks though.

Put it in your piggy bank. Arash Markazi probably doesn't follow k-1 so...screw it.


The Morholt said...

April got a stereo and you got a screwdriver? Care to comment Mom?

Kirby Scroggins said...

It was mostly vodka though

Edo said...

Were you drunk when you wrote this???

Anyway, yeah, I want to watch, but papa Yabe will be in town, so...who knows.

wwc said...

Was I drunk? Were the typos that thick are my predictions wrong? No. I was in a hurry, so I haven't proofread.

It wasn't Mom David, it was Butch. Logic and explanations can't be involved.

attempting to silence the voices in my head.