My Bad Day

After being proud of myself for not catching a cold yet this winter, it has finally happened. That explains my weekend bought of lethargy. Mondays I don't have to be at work until 9:45 and today my first class wasn't until 11:45. I was dragging a little this morning, as well as still having a swollen knee that doesn't allow me to walk like anything less than a pirate or war veteran, but I didn't really care since no one at school really notices when I come and go. I wasn't running super late but in the train system if you miss one train by a minute it can make you 10-20 minutes late down the line. I wasn't worried however as no one ever cares. As I approached the school I noticed a mail on my phone wondering where I was. When I got to the teacher's room, everyone was saying "Where were you? Yoshida-sensei is looking for you! Run to 1-2! Go to 1-2 now! It probably isn't your fault."

Have I mentioned Yoshida-sensei? I think there is someone like her in every Japanese school. Her management style is panic. Her personality is panic. Every moment of her life is confusion and desperation. I, on the other hand, am the Ken Griffey Jr. of teaching. She is also a very nice lady and lobbies on my behalf to the Board of Ed. Her English is okay, but not great. She freaks out about absolutely everything, reminding me slightly of my former, hated boss, who I still have bad dreams about. If I am teaching and include a word that the students don't know she looks horrified and runs up saying "No, no! They have never learned that word!"

When I got to 1-2 she was mid freak-out. She was angry. She was panicking. I should mention that these are my last lessons with the 1st years. I had a game planned. I went in and executed it in time and everyone had fun. I told Yoshida-sensei I was sorry. She kept saying, "But I told you!" And I tried to explain that I am sure she did but that I teach at three different schools with 11 different teachers who tell me lots of things and that I go by my schedule which list no classes. She showed me her schedule where she had written in the class and said, "But it says it right here!" On her schedule. Marked in in pin. I got a little pissed and she made a peace offering of anpan. And asked me, "Which is better? 'All dogs are faithful?'" "What?" I asked in response. "Yes, I think so." We often have conversations like this. I don't have a clue what the question is but she takes my response as some kind of answer and moves on from there. She keeps speaking under her breath and I stop listening. She tells me that if I am sick I should take a nap and that I can get 20 minutes of sleep between classes and, and, and....But she won't stop talking. I should point out than I don't like people when I have a cold. I have no patience. She goes to the copy machine and comes back. "By the way....You never said, "I'm sorry I was late." "Yes I did." "I must not have heard you." The anticipation of me saying it again hangs in the air for a while and it probably still is because I didn't.

The day goes on like this. I think everyone knows how she is and sympathizes with me. We return from a class and there is a girl, a first year sitting at the empty desk in front of mine crying, with her face in a towel, refusing to listen to anyone try to calm her down. "Don't go and die on us now" I say in Japanese- which is a different approach from most teachers who will either mob someone or ignore them. Yoshida-sensei goes to hit me on the head and say, "Don't say that!! You can't say such things! It is an American joke! Many Japanese teachers can never say 'die.' Japanese people never say it." "Some Japanese people." I correct her. "You can't say that in Japan." "I live in Japan. I have lived in Japan for 8 years." The girl is still crying and no one seems to care. I was going to give her a plastic Halloween pumpkin, but the mood has now passed, and turned so I pour some tea, try not to throw my mug across the room and get up and leave. My I speak truth? This shit makes me nuts. It is a very Japanese thing. I think the prevailing belief in Japan is that everyone in the world is trying their hardest to be Japanese and somehow fail along the way. If only true Japanese people can correct them and learn them up right. Teachers, of course, are the most Japanese of Japanese people (Followed by....Ed-who, before you protest Ed-takes pleasure in correcting Japanese people on how they wrap packages or make change.) I know that the word "death" is supposed to be unlucky, but I also know that I don't whistle past graveyards and am very far from giving a shit. I also know that not "every Japanese person" cares. I use this line all the time to kids and it often cheers them up. If they are crying and I ask, "Should we call the ambulance? Are you dying?" They will usually laugh, or stop, and they don't care about words like that.

On the way to the next class Yoshida-sensei asked me, "Which is better left or.....?" "What?" I hid in the language lab until it was time to go and was walking through the back-alleys muttering about how America has insulation and dryers when Yoshida-sensei rolled by on a bike. "See you on Friday."

But I do rather like my job.