Resolution?

I didn't write anything last night because I am tired of thinking about it. Here is how it went.

Take two pieces of bread.
Smear them with mayonnaise and mustard.
Adorn with lettuce.
Get someone to take a huge dump in the middle.
Eat it and smile.

As I was waiting around last night the school nurse came to talk to me. She is small and looks like someone's very nice grandmother, yet she speaks really excellent English. She told me that things like this happen to her a lot as the school nurse. That she deals with lots of kids who lie about their condition and parents who insist that they're not. She says that she apologizes and then tells them the truth about how she feels. She talked about how school used to be in Japan. Somehow she confused the word0 'punch' with 'bite.' So she kept saying, "It used to be okay for teachers to bite the children." While making a punching motion. She went on to tell me that our principal is very good at dealing with parents. That he is clever about it and I should trust him this time and see how it works. That sounds reasonable.

I left for the house with the principal and the homeroom teacher, Sugimoto. As we were leaving the principal said, "Let's just do it like we said yesterday and get out. This is just the first step and we appreciate you helping. You aren't going to like it. They are going to say things you don't like. I am going to say things you don't like. Just nod you head and don't respond." I said that I really didn't want to apologize to Daichi himself. He said, "It's all the same thing. You’re an adult." I agree with that. I went along with it.

The house is a very Neyagawa house. Funny that I probably live in a better place. We went in. The dad was a very dad dad. The mom was still sullen and pissed and pinched. We sat around the table. The principal said, "Well, let's talk like adults." The father said his piece. He was completely wrong but very reasonable. I feel like if we had spoken from the beginning we could have reached a resolution. I get the feeling he knows little of the story and is being wound up by the mom and the kid who are, in turn, winding each other up.

It came time for me to say my piece. One of the beauties, or drawbacks, of the Japanese language is that it can be spoken like contract law. Everything is no one's fault and things just kind of happen. What I said was roughly, "I stopped the fight so that no one would get injured if anyone, including Daichi, was injured in that process, I feel bad about that." That is true. Daichi should feel worse, but...

The dad said, "That's all I wanted to hear." The principal asked Daichi if he was ok with that. He said he was. This is where it gets tough and I either have to put my faith in the principal’s greater plan or hang my head in defeat. "You have to understand," said the principal, "He doesn't speak Japanese and is very young and energetic." (I am actually the oldest English teacher in the school and have the most experience.) "He isn't a real teacher. He is still a student and comes to the school to play around in English with the kids." (Man that dump tastes great.) This, however unfortunate, is the Japanese hot-potato game of sekinin (who is responsible.) I hate it, but it is what it is. I pretended to understand nothing.

"We are a family who doesn't hit our children." Said the father, as if I was someone who goes around hitting children. When they do something wrong tell us about it. I am telling them about it. They aren't listening. The principal said, "Well, sorry, we have to go now."
At this point the mom joined the conversation. She has little social skill. She talks like a bird. A bird that doesn't deal well with other people. She is in a constant state of panic and isn't very bright. It is lovely to be told how to do your job by somebody who couldn't do your job and is dumber than you. She told me that she understand that I didn't have a teaching license (a situation that I have no control over as no foreigner in Japan has a teaching license as people form other countries can't be public employees thanks to institutional racism) but that I still had to learn how to deal with children. I zoned out and was literally biting my tongue.

The principal thanked her for her opinion and had me make my way out the door. As I made it outside he turned and said, "Well, now we have met and I know where you live and the next time Daichi acts up I will know who to talk to." Then to Daichi, "You need to grow up and start acting like a man instead of a baby. You need to respect the teachers at your school and make sure this problem stops now. Can you do that? Are you an adult?" I started to see some of his method.

When we got back to the school he told Sugimoto to have Daichi in in the morning and tell him to stop with the bullshit and get serious. He told me he appreciated my effort and that he knew that it sucked for me. That it was just the first step in a long process. If he means that then I understand. If it was just a con to get me to apologize and get it out of his hair, then I guess he is clever in that respect too.

This morning at school a 1st year came up to me and said, "You and the principal went to Daichi's house at 8 last night."

"Does that have anything to do with you?"

"No."

"Then why do you think that happened?"

"Daichi told everyone."

Great. Great. My job needed a handicap too.