I actually don't believe in gambling. It's socialist. I didn't even realize that the last UFC had happened as I was locked in the guest house being fed Korean food through a funnel and listening to my neighbor chant and cry. But, here I will give you the no-shit, honest to god, straight dope for UFC 77, with the disclaimer for this year of competition: Shit Happens. Belive it. Forrest Griffin beat Shogun. That is ridiculous. Does the step down from no drug testing to vague and spotty drug testing make that huge a difference? Bringing mere mortals into contact with kakutogi godheads? The mind boggles.
Jorge Gurgel Vs. Alvin Robinson: Gurgel has 3 straight decisions. 2 wins to 1 loss. A decision win over Danny Abaddi does not a legend make. Nevertheless ALvin Robinson submitted to strikes from Kenflo. Gurgel by decision.
Matt Grice Vs. Jason Black: Black is coming of 2 losses. Black by superhero sideburns.
Jason McDonald Vs. Yushin Okami: The smart money is on Okami, but I hate Japanese people. I like Jason McDonald's fighting style (submission submission submission.) McDonald by submission in the 2nd.
Stephan Bonnar Vs. Eric Schafer: Continuing the comeback from his steroid suspension, Bonnar is really fighting against obscurity. It is an uphill fight. I still feel that he has some of the strongest technical skills, especially with his boxing, in the game. Not a brutal athlete however. It should be enough to carry him past Schafer. Bonnar by 3rd round KO.
Demian Maia Vs. Ryan Jensen: Would you like me to pretend I know something about either of these guys? Just call me Arash Markazi. (Booyakasha!) Maia by decision.
Kalib Starnes Vs. Alan Belcher: Kalib Starnes by decision by virtue of saying that the more he read Chomsky the less he cares about the UFC. Word.
Josh Burkman Vs. Forrest Petz: I somehow missed the Burkman train, but everyone seems to be on board. woo-WOOT! I enjoy M. Petz's tasty breaded candies, however, Burkman by decision.
Brandon Vera Vs. Tim Sylvia: I want to be a contrarian and believe that Tim Sylvia is actually likeable and a really decent fighter. I can't summon the vinegar. Sylvia is doo-dootastic. Vera is rad. Vera has the hype machine firmly pressing his amble booty, yet I believe it. Sorry Flavor. I used to think Vera had some of the worst tattoos in MMA until I read that they are ancient Filipino writing. That's cool. If I hear one more commentary about Vera being underweight I will vomit the tasty manju tearing at my belly. Vera weighs almost as much as Fedor or Crocop. Not everyone who can cut weight, has to cut weight. I assume that Vera's plan will be to use his impressive low, mid and high kicks to chop down the doofus tree that is Sylvia. Sylvia's people know this too. Arlovski was attempting this strategy in their uber-boring rematch until he apparently injured his leg. Vera is technically far better than Sylvia, but I will not sell big Tim's power short. He punches well. If Vera slips up he can be out, quick. Ask Andre from Belarus. Vera by 3rd round KO.
Rich Franklin Vs. Anderson Silva: I like Rich Franklin (his absurd advice to Matt Serra not withstanding). I like him as a person. I like how he trains. I like how he fights. Anderson Silva doesn't care about what I like. He is an out of control, born to fight, freak. You look at him and wonder how it is happening, but he punches like a truck and survives on the ground. People complain about his showing against Lutter, but they forget that Lutter's jiu-jitsu top game is world class. I love Silva's use of the body triangle and his lethal clinch. Franklin has never been a one punch KO power guy, even though he is physically bigger and stronger than Silva. He wears people down with well executed combinations. His ground game is solid and rough. All of my respect for Franklin can only help him survive the first. Silva by KO in the 2nd.
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